Numb
by Joker is Poker with a J
Summary: Some people are deaf, some people are blind, but I, I was numb. I could touch the softest silk and not feel a thing. A spider could crawl down my arm, and I would never know. Physically I couldn't feel, and that effected me emotionally...until I met Him.
1. Chapter 1

Numb

Summary: Some people are deaf, some people are blind, but I, I was numb. I could touch the softest silk and not feel a thing. A spider could crawl down my arm, and I would never know. Physically I couldn't feel, and that effected me emotionally...until I met Him.

Anesthetized, apathetic, asleep, benumbed, brutal, callous, cantankerous, churlish, cold, cold fish, cold-blooded, cold-hearted, cool cat, crotchety, cruel, deadened, exacting, feelingless, hard, hardened, heartless, icy, inanimate, inhuman, insensate, insensible, insensitive, iron-hearted, merciless, obdurate, pitiless, ruthless, sensationless, senseless, severe, stony, surly, thick-skinned, tough, unamiable, uncaring, uncompassionate, uncordial, unemotional, unkind, unsympathetic.

All the words above were synonyms to one word, unfeeling. Numb. That is exactly what type of person I am.

While some people can't see, talk, and hear, I can't feel. I was born with a Nervous System dysfunction and some how the doctors couldn't explain why I couldn't feel.

It wasn't easy growing up different in 1880's. It got worse as I grew older. I learned to ignore the taunts and cruel laughter pointed my way. Soon, though, I learned to take the emotions and turn them to my physical feelings, allowing me to not feel the hurt and pain, the happiness and sadness. Everything I took indifferently and nobody could change that.

Now, at sixteen, I sit at the end of an empty dock thinking back on how everything turned out. It didn't bother me. I wouldn't let it. Being abandoned by everyone wasn't as bad as it seemed. Having no name, for I had forgot it like my mother forgot me, no friends and not much of a family, it didn't seem to me I was so bad off.

I worked every day on a fishing boat called _Daybreak_, and got payed ten cents an hour. I lived in an old house in the middle of Brooklyn, and had money enough. I realized I had grown up to fast, but nowadays every kid does.

Watching the sunset, I started whistling a little tune. I had learned it from a boy who worked on the fishing boat with me. His name was Nine and he was real funny. He was the closest thing to a friend I had.

I don't talk much while working, mostly because I wanted to show them not all women were useless, because everyday there was some comment about women in kitchens. I ignored them, knowing I wouldn't get fired because I was such a hard worker.

And everyday I came to my little house smelling like fish, but I didn't mind because I knew I'd done something. I had worked hard for the money.

Usually I was put working with the net as it came in because sometimes there would be jellyfish from the sea caught in it, and I couldn't feel anything if they stung me.

But, now I just watched the sunset, not worrying over tomorrow, but living in the now. When your aware that any moment could be your last, you tend to live more in the now. I could have died as a baby, I never felt anything so I never knew when I was badly hurt. But, I was glad I had lived this long.

Darkness came at my back, seeming to envelope me and hug me, and I decided to make my way home.

Standing up, my eyes caught a pair of blue ones. Two docks down were where the Brooklyn Newsies hung out. Jumping into the River, playing marbles and poker. But, this evening I seemed to catch the eye of their leader.

I stared back into the steel blue eyes so emotionless like my own. They studied me, my trousers my wet hair and shirt. A look of disapproval in his eyes. I was a woman, working like a man, dressed like a man, and their was nothing he could do about it.

Giving a taunting smirk, just to make him angry, I turned on the heel of my boot and stalked on down the dock, heading into the middle of Brooklyn, the place I hated most, but somehow I couldn't leave.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything you recognize, (like Spot) and I don't own the disease, I'm pretty sure it's real, (it's gotta be) so anywho please Review.


	2. Chapter 2

Numb

Summary: Some people are deaf, some people are blind, but I, I was numb. I could touch the softest silk and not feel a thing. A spider could crawl down my arm, and I would never know. Physically I couldn't feel, and that effected me emotionally...until I met Him.

I had originally been born in Philadelphia, the city of 'Brotherly Love.' But, at the age of two my mother abandoned me and my older brother. When found penniless and parent less a man took us to a lawyer. My older brother who was only three, told him our mothers name. The lawyer could not locate her, so he sent us to our aunt who lived in Brooklyn.

A year after that our aunt died of Tuberculosis and my brother ran off to Manhattan to become a newsie.

I suppose that is why I never became a newsie, because my brother did and he abandoned me for it. It wasn't that he didn't love me, he just wanted a life to be proud of.

I didn't blame him. I was only three, though, and living on the streets. I was taken into the orphanage, and soon enough they located another family member. A cousin of some sort and I went to live with him and his wife and two kids.

From that moment till the day I turned thirteen I spent every moment in emotional agony. Though my cousins weren't poor, they weren't exactly rich and they spent most of their lives trying to be rich. They went to parties and spent their little bit of money on their sons, making them look rich while going to extravagant parties.

But, there I was, the little nameless girl shoved on their doorstep, to heartless to be in an orphanage, to young to be on the streets.

I shrugged off my cousins and did the work they asked, they would never know that they were secretly helping me, preparing me for a life of working.

Now, walking up my porch steps, I took a second to approve my house. It was small, squashed between two tall buildings. An oak tree, weary from the many winters, sagged in the front yard. The House was a gray color, like the rest of New York, but the shutters on the windows I, myself, had painted a pretty blue. The door was an off white and the picket fence needed a new coat, but all in all it was home.

Pulling out my key, I surreptitiously unlocked the door. I shut it, relocked it, set the keys on a counter next to the door, and gave a sigh. Inhaling the scent of vanilla and cinnamon, my two favorite scents, and closing my eyes I relaxed for the first time since I left my house this morning.

My eyes shot open as a familiar pair of blues appeared behind my eye lids. Weird, I didn't normally think about other people. It was selfish, but you have to think about yourself when no one else cares.

I grounded my teeth, cursing the Brooklyn Leader. I knew his type, the type that want to rule a woman. Kill their spirits.

Giving a growl at the lost of my moment of peace, I headed up the rickety stairs to the small bathroom on the right. I was lucky enough to have a toilet, one of my few small luxuries. It had actually made the price more, but I managed. After flushing, I went to the small tub, and filled it with the pails of luke warm water.

Stripping, I climbed into the tub and dipped my head under. I don't know how to explain the feeling that I get in water. It's not really a feeling at all. You can't explain it, because if I said it was like air, I wouldn't know what air felt like.

I didn't stay in long, after I washed myself with the soap, I got out, dried myself off, and then got dressed.

Alright, I'll admit I'm not a girly-girl, but I didn't want to be a man either. So in the evenings I'd put on a dress and sometimes I'd go out. Sometimes I'd even go to Manhattan and visit my brother, and that's what I felt like doing tonight.

I slipped out the front door, locked it, and placed the key, which had a string around it, around my neck, safely it hung between my breasts. It would stay safe there. I smoothed the light blue dress, and headed on my way to Manhattan.

I hadn't seen Francis in two months, and I figured now we'd have something to talk about. The newsies knew I came every once in a while, but he never told them I was his sister. I never figured out why. It's not like I came dressed like a man, I always showed up like a lady.

Halfway across the bridge, I heard voices behind me. I glanced back and saw a group of boys.

Ok, I wasn't stupid. Tucked down my corset, a little farther down then my key, was a knife. I never went anywhere with out it.

The group got closer, and I heard one of them yell, "Heya Doll face!"

Ignoring them, I continued walking, small puffs of breezes I couldn't feel blowing my dark brown hair. My boots, sheltered by the long blue dress, barely made a click along the coble stone streets.

Suddenly, I was swung around to face a familiar pair of blue eyes. I looked down and saw his hand on my arm, I hadn't felt a thing.

"Yes?" I asked the Leader.

"I was tawkin' to ya." He said, anger in his eyes.

Raising an eyebrow, I smirked, "Yeah? So? Was I suppose ta listen?"

Hoots from the rowdy boys were yelled and the leader got even angrier. I wanted to laugh, but I managed to suppress it.

"If ya know what's good for ya, ya'd listen." He told me, I suppose he was squeezing my arm. I watched his eyes, waiting for the surprise. He'd never believe he wasn't hurting me. I might have a bruise, but I wouldn't know in less I saw it.

"Well, _sir_," I started in obvious sarcasm, "I'm actually on my way to visit a friend. I'm kinda late, so it would do you good to let me go on my way."

The surprise came then, I guess when he noticed no pain in my eyes, and he let go. "It would do me good?" he asked, cocking his head and pulling out a cigarette.

Laughter was in my eyes, "Yeah." I turned and walked away. I heard the boys with him make a few comments, but I continued, to eager to see my only family even if he had abandoned me. Which I had already got revenge for.

The group stayed far behind, but still followed me. I deduced that they were probably going to visit the Manhattan Newsies, and I just happened to go the same way.

Entering the Lodging House, I stopped and glanced around. It had gotten pretty quiet as I entered, but when my brother saw me he left the girl he was sitting next to and came over. Grabbing my arm he cast a glance back at the boys, and then took me outside.

The Brooklyn Leader and his gang had just reached the step when me and Francis came out. Mr. Leader glanced at me, and then at my brother. I wondered if he saw the likeness.

Where my brother was tall, I was short and petite. We had both inherited the same dark brown hair, but he had gotten our mothers' chocolate brown eyes, and I had gotten our fathers golden blues.

When we lived with our aunt, she'd always tell us we looked so much alike and only our eyes could determine who was who.

The Brooklyn leader spit in his hand and held it out to my brother, "Hiya Jacky boy."

Oh, yeah, did I mention he changed his name to Jack Kelly? Well, he did. Came as a shocker to me. I went around looking for a Francis Sullivan for the longest time, and when I finally found him I also found he'd changed his name.

Alright, I don't accept my first name, but at least I did accept that my last name is Sullivan. I accepted our father going to jail. And I accepted when I was told that our mother died, even if she abandoned us. Francis, though, only thought to run all his problems away.

"What's goin' on, Spot?" Francis said, spit shakin' also.

Spot? His name was Spot? Oh yeah, that's real manly. I could have laughed had I not been given an evil look from Francis. He knew me so well.

"Not much in Brooklyn. Whos da dollface?" Spot asked.

"Did is me sistah." Francis introduced.

I shook Spot's hand, "Nice ta meetcha." I said, smirking slightly.

The surprise was in all the faces, and I had to wonder why Francis told them and not the Manhattan Newsies.

"I didn't know youse had a sistah." Spot said, "She gotta name?"

"No." I said.

"Ya, well, she doesn't come around often." Francis told him, "Has a life of her own."

Spot watched me for a moment, then said, "Youse got no name?" Like he had just heard my answer with an echo.

"No." I repeated.

Francis glared at me, and I shrugged, "What? You think I want them calling me 'O Nameless one?'" I couldn't help but let out a small laugh, "I'm sure they'd like that."

Francis shook his head, "She's gotta name, but she refuses to hear it. So you can call her anything you want."

I opened my mouth to protest, but Francis shot me a look, "Fine," I mumbled, "Call me Cora." It was actually my middle name, but if you knew my first name, you'd make one of those faces. You know the kind that your mother always warns you will get stuck that way? Ya, that kind.

"Cora." Spot said the name, then nodded, "Fits you."

I glanced up at him, and our eyes caught for the third time that day. I couldn't help it, I smirked. Just like I did this afternoon.

The surprise and dawning appeared in his eyes as Francis asked him and his boys to go inside, and that he'd be in in a moment. Spot went in, clearly confused, and once alone Francis finally turned to me.

Disclaimer: You know the drill. I own every thing, mw ha ha ha ha! (j/k) If I owned everything I'd be living in Santa fe, drinking Margaritas in little coconut cups and getting a tan, instead of being in six degree weather, freezing my ass off, and being the whitest person in America. :) REVIEW!


	3. Chapter 3

Numb

Summary: Some people are deaf, some people are blind, but I, I was numb. I could touch the softest silk and not feel a thing. A spider could crawl down my arm, and I would never know. Physically I couldn't feel, and that effected me emotionally...until I met Him.

"Well, Jack." I said smiling at his name. He hated when I said his name like that.

"Well, Cora." He taunted back, and my smile widened.

"How's everything goin'?" I asked, sitting next to him on the steps.

"Alright. I haven't seen you in a while." He watched, I guess trying to figure me out, like most people do. I would just smile at them, knowing no one every could. No one knew what it was like not to feel.

"Two months." I said, "Anything exciting happen?" I asked, putting extra emphasis on exciting.

"Actually, ya." Francis, or Jack, said, smirking at me. God, it was like looking in a mirror. I spent half my life perfecting my smirk, the smirk that made my boss wanna kill me, and here he was doing it for the first time. I had to admire that.

"Really." Sarcasm, gotta love it.

"Really really. Last month me and da Newsies went on Strike, and won." Jack informed me.

I'd heard about the Strike from Nine. He knew all the juicy details about it, for he lived at the Brooklyn Lodging House. He told me how Jack Kelly had started it, along with the 'Walkin' Mouth.' Also, how they got Spot to join and all the other Newsies. It seemed the highlight of the Summer.

"That's good to hear, Jack." I said, in all sincerity. So what if I had a house, it just meant I'd be in Brooklyn all my life. I'd never leave, and here was Jack, Francis, standing up for what he believed in.

Suddenly, I felt like the most useless person in the world. Only people I cared about could make me feel, and Francis brought out the Emotions. I had yet to find someone who could make me feel physically.

I stood up, "I gotta go, Jack. Francis." I headed down the street, and then stopped. "Franc?" I asked, back still turned.

"Yeah, Eden?" I cringed at the use of my first name. What kinda mother named you after a garden? Especially a pure garden when you yourself was defective?

"Don't use that name. And I wanted to know...why'd you tell those boys I was your sister, and not the boys in Manhattan?"

There was a long moment of silence, and finally, "Because...Spot? He's not some guy you should get to know. I figured, if he knew you were my sister he'd leave ya alone. As for the Manhattaners, I don't know. Never got around to it. They'd all wanna meet you, and be friends. I didn't think you'd want that. Y'know..."

Turning to stare at him, I couldn't believe what he just said, "Since when did you know what I want, Francis Sullivan?" I shrilled, purposely saying his full name.

Not a word from him.

"That's what I thought. Look, It doesn't matter if you tell those boys in there that you have a sister, but don't abandon me at the age of three, and then expect to know what I want. I went looking for you, hoping you'd be alive because even though you left me, I still wanted a family. But, Even if I'm the one who was born without the sense of touch, I think it's the rest of the family who's heartless."

I felt like crying, and, as I stormed down the street I put a finger to my cheek. I stopped to stare at the little tear drop now sitting on my finger.

I let the hand with the tear drop to my side. And slowly, I headed home.

As I passed a small building, I heard a voice. Turning, I noticed someone coming up to me. Squinting my eyes, I realized it was Nine.

He came up, huffing and puffing, "Wow, youse walk really fast." He breathed out. "And ise wasn't sure hows ta get your attention."

Nine was about a year older then me, and a lot taller. He was 6'4, dark hair and these bright blue eyes. He was incredibly cute, even I could not deny this. They called him Nine apparently because they joked on how tall he was. Nine feet tall, they'd say. That was what he told me, at least.

"Apparently, you can just call me Cora." I smiled, and that earned a smile from him.

"Cora's a pretty name. It fits you." My smile dropped a bit. Why did people keep saying that?

"Thanks."

"So..." He started, "Where youse goin'?

Shrugging, I started walking and he easily matched my pace, "Home, probably. I just came back from visiting my brother." I was suddenly thankful for the darkness. He couldn't possibly see my tear streaks.

I heard the surprise in his voice when he said, "Youse got a brudda? I didn't know."

Smiling, I looked up at him, "Yeah. His name's..." I faltered, "Jack. Jack Kelly."

"Really? I didn't know Jack had a sister." Nine seemed to find this very funny.

Glaring, I stopped outside my gate, "It's not funny, now if you don't mind I have to go in."

Nine sobered up, "Sorry, Cora. It's just...can't really picture Jack wit a baby sis." He stopped and looked at the house behind me, "Youse live heh?" he asked.

"Yeah." I said turning and looking at it. "Yup, this is home."

"All alone?" He asked.

I nodded, then turned to face him, "Thanks, Nine, for the company. But, I should get some sleep, you know, work tomorrow."

He smiled brightly, his blue eyes so full of life, "You bet. But you know what?" He asked, all mysterious like.

"What?" I asked, leaning closer.

"I'll never forget you wearing a dress!" He smiled even bigger, and laughed.

I laughed, too. He could always make me smile, "See ya tomorrow, Nine."

"Ya, see youse tomorra." He waved and turned to head to the Lodging House I suppose.

I climbed into my bed that night, snuggled up to the pillows, and drifted off to sleep.

Waking with the day, I gave a large yawn. And slowly got out of bed. I threw on a pair of black trousers, and then a light green button up shirt. I tied my boots, threw on a newsboy cap and headed out of the house. I slung the key around my neck and whistled as I shut the gate to my house.

I jogged a bit, fearful that I'd be late, even though it never happened.

Halfway down the block, I heard a voice shout, "Cora!"

Turning, I smiled as I saw Nine. He smiled back, and then got in pace with me, "How'd ya sleep?" He asked.

"On my back." I told him, smiling.

"OooOOoo, gentlemen we got a witty one here." Nine commented, and slung an arm around my shoulders.

Laughing, I shrugged it off, gave a mock bow, and then asked as a group of Newsies went by, "Why don't youse sell newspapers?"

Nine shrugged, "I like boats." he said, making me laugh.

"What? I do. Ise want to one day buy me own, and then sail away." I watched the light in his eyes sparkle, just like the sea.

"That's a nice dream." I said, staring out at the River. I had no dreams. You couldn't dream when you couldn't feel. Dreams made you human, humans could feel, and I obviously wasn't.

Nine smiled over at me, "Thanks. It is nice. Youse house is nice. Must've cost a lot."

I shrugged, "It did, but I managed. Slept on the streets for three years. Worked the last two years and saved up for it. Bought it three months ago. Nice to have a roof over your head." I told him. He nodded knowingly.

"Yeah. The Lodging House is nice. I don't need anything permanent. And it only cost a nickel a week."

We reached the dock where _Daybreak_ was tied, and waved to our boss. "Hey there you two." He said, giving us a toothless smile.

"Hello." Nine and I said at the same time, and boarded the boat. I went over to the net where Sue, a cranky old man, was trying to undo a knot.

"Hey Sue." I said, "Need help?"

Sue glared at me, but let me, knowing I was a whiz at knots.

It took me two minutes and eight seconds to undo the knot. I always counted, and my record was twenty-nine seconds. Today must be an off day.

Towards the end of the day, when we were all heading back to sell our fish and get our money, I spotted the dock full of Newsies. Nine came over to me and looked where I was looking. "Want to come with me over there?" he asked.

I shook my head, "No. Better not."

He furrowed his brow, "Why not? They'll be nice, siderin' your Jacky boys sistah."

"That's exactly why." I said, then filled in for him, "Look, me and Jack had a bit of a...fight last night, so I don't think I wanna be around no newsies."

Nine studied me a moment, and I had to give him credit. He seemed like he really wanted to figure me out. Good luck.

Finally the boat was docked, and we were free to go. Heaving a sigh, I took off my cap and wiped away the sweat that, even though I couldn't feel, I knew was there. My sleeves were rolled up, and at the moment I'd have loved to go swimming.

Nine glanced at me and seemed to read my mind, "Ready?" He asked, grinning.

Grinning, I nodded. But at that moment, I felt a strong feeling that I should look to my right. Blue eyes a couple docks down met mine. He was studying me, this time curiosity leaked out of the eyes instead of disapproval. I must have deemed points last night when I wore a dress. Our eyes searched each other, looking for a fault, an emotion, something that we could use as a reason for us not to see one another.

We both found nothing.

At that moment there was a silent agreement. Neither of us could refuse.

"Yooo whoo! Cora?" Nine waved a hand in front of my face, and I turned back.

"Ready?" I asked this time, and without waiting for an answer, I dove into the river.

Disclaimer: You know the drill, I've done it THREE TIMES! GRRRR! hehe j/k you'll find I do that a lot. :) Anywho, I own everything you DO NOT recognize, But I do own Nine (at least the name) His looks belong to a certain boy that I have a crush on (what a HOTTIE!) but I haven't really ever talked to him (ok I'm shy...)

A/N: Anywho, this chapters kinda pointless, but I PROMISE it WILL get better! Believe me! I'm just trying to worm Spot in. Please REVIEW!


	4. Chapter 4

Numb

Summary: Some people are deaf, some people are blind, but I, I was numb. I could touch the softest silk and not feel a thing. A spider could crawl down my arm, and I would never know. Physically I couldn't feel, and that effected me emotionally...until I met Him.

I told you I couldn't explain being in water. It was like, suddenly I couldn't breathe and my arms weighed me down. My head broke the surface and I gulped air. Sweet air. Treading the water, I waited for Nine's head to appear. When he finally came up, he gasped.

"It's so cold!"

Shrugging, I floated on my back. I never had a problem with being hot or cold. I could run around naked in the winter and to me I'd feel like I was completely clothed.

Our boss leaned over the dock, "You two want your money or not?" He growled, not unkindly.

I couldn't help but smile up at him. Like I said, I couldn't help it. I had learned to hide all my other feelings, sadness, anger (just barely), jealousy (ha! Like I got jealous), and all the other emotions one could get except for my happiness. Somehow it always shown through.

With Nine's help, I climbed onto the Dock, and then turned to help him. He smiled his thanks and we began to ring out our shirts. Glad that I hadn't worn white, I took my money from our boss, and turned to go.

"Cora?" Nine asked, a slight hint of, shyness? in his voice.

"Yup?" I asked, turning slightly to look up at him.

"Care ta go wit me ta dinnah?" He asked, his eyes searching the dock.

I stared, shocked. No one had ever asked _me_ to dinner. They had all known my dysfunction.

Nine must've taken my silence for a no, and turned to leave, "Wait." I said, and then gave a small smile, "Sorry, I just wasn't expecting it. Yes. I'd like to go to dinner with you."

His face broke out into a big smile, and I smiled back. "I gotta go home and change first." I told him, and he gave a nod.

Nine walked me home, and bid me goodbye asking me to wait a the end of the street at six. I smiled my consent, and headed up my little walk and up the porch.

After washing and drying myself, I changed into a simple cream dress. I made a point to have many dresses, trousers, and shirts. I wasn't into the skirt thing, and dresses were so easy to slip on.

I threw my pants and shirt from today, and my dress from the night before into what I deemed the 'Laundry' room. I usually washed my clothes on Sundays, my days off, and that was only a day away.

At six I stood at the end of the street, and not a second later Nine popped up, a white rose in his hand. Blushing, he handed it to me, and I gave him a smile, "Aww! It's beautiful!"

He smiled at my happiness, and extended his arm, "Care foah some company? Looks ta me like youse lookin' ta get some food."

Laughing, I slipped my arm through his, "I'd love company. Y'see, I was waiting here, and my date didn't show up. Awfully rude, dontcha think?"

He gave a mock disapproving look, "'Dats awful! I pretty girl like you? All alone? Neva hoid of such a thing!"

We laughed together and joked for a bit longer when we finally came to a little restaurant. 'Betty's House' the sign read, and a small bell gave a tinkle as Nine held it open for me.

"Thank you." I said, and walked in. I gave a gasp at the intimacy of the place. Oil lamps hung on the wall, lit and dancing merrily. The little booths hugged the wall, couples were sprinkled about, close together and talking. A soft murmur of conversation and music to dance to wafted through the almost hazy air.

"Wow." I said, and for the first time felt a chill run up my spine. That small chill scared me, and I turned to Nine, "This is amazing. Not to expensive I hope?"

Smiling, he gave a small wave to a woman behind a counter, "Naw. Ise got connections." He told me, almost a whisper in my ear.

The lady came over, her plump form melting through the tables with ease and habit. "Frank! Lovely to see you, darling! You haven't visited me in some time. Who's this lovely girl with you?"

"Hello, Betty. Naw I couldn't forget ya, Ise's just been a bit busy. And this, here, is Cora."

I smiled and shook her hand gently, "Hello, nice to meet you."

Betty took my hand and smiled back so warmly I could practically see the heat waves, "She's lovely, Frank. I wish you brought more like her here. It's a thrill to meet you Cora! And such a pretty name! Please, sit down where ever you like, order what ever you like, and have fun! I have to get back to work!" She kissed Nine on the cheek, and smiled again at me before leaving.

Nine and I took a seat in the corner. We ordered our food, then just sat and talked. Most was irrelevant, but I still had a good time. Nine had a way of making me laugh.

At around nine, (haha) we headed out of 'Betty's House' and into the sultry summer air. I heaved a sigh, and then looked over at the content look on Nine's face. He looked over, caught me staring, and smiled.

I had never known any man to ever look at me and see beauty. None had ever asked me out, kissed me, or even hinted that they liked me. And I was fine with that. But, now, suddenly I wanted nothing more then to hear three little words.

It's not that I wanted it from Nine, I didn't know if I liked him like that yet, but I wanted to know it could happen to me, even if I was practically an alien.

He walked me to my house, and I thanked him for the wonderful dinner. He smiled, replied that it was no problem, then bid me good night.

I watched him walk to the end of the street and then turn the corner, then I turned on my heel and went in the other direction.

Weaving my way through the crates, I listened for the splashing of the river against the boats, and possibly the breathing of someone else who might just so happen to be out and about at this time of night.

A figure sat at the end, hitting a long object against one of the legs of the dock. They produced a low whistle, then turned slightly to watch me approach.

My breath caught in my throat and a chill ran up my spine for the second time that night as I stared into his silvery blue orbs, caught in the light of the moon. My skin seemed to prickle, and I looked down at my arm to find goosebumps. I had seen them on my arms before, but I'd never _felt _them.

I looked back up into Spot's eyes, and wondered what in the hell I was doing here. So we had seen each other across the dock, and maybe locked eyes for a millisecond. A millisecond could not possibly justify the reason into which I had come upon this dock, a dock that just so happens to be sitting the very man my brother did not want me to get involve with.

To hell with Francis, he wasn't on my good list so why did I care what he thought?

Spot tapped the spot next to him with the golden tip of his cane, and gently I sat down. We sat there in companionable silence until at last Spot broke it, "What's a doll like youse doin' out so late at night?"

Glancing over, I rolled my eyes, "Someone asked me to be here."

I felt him give a small shiver, and then he asked, "Well, Ise got business, dats why ise's here."

Smirking, I looked into the watery depths of the river. Each lap against the docks seemed to move with my beating heart. "What business?" I asked, watching him from the corner of my eye.

Silence from the boy next to me, and then, "Well, actually its a dame. Looks 'bout four foot three. Golden blue eyes. Rather dark hair. Brother happens ta be named Jack."

I snorted, "Well, you got 80 percent right. But, come on, four foot three? I'm not that short. Now you, your pretty short."

Spot looked over at me and gave a small scowl, "Just so happens that I'm short for a reason."

"Yeah?" I asked, "And thats because...your legs aren't fully developed?" I guessed.

Spot rolled his eyes, and then said simply, "Agility."

"Agility." I reiterated.

"You see, I'm as quick as a cat." He told me, very cockily.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." He said, his eyes, even when calm, seemed to hold this mysterious storm that could break at any moment. He was a farce, but seemed able to hide it very well.

Standing up, I turned to leave. I had found nothing here, and I wasn't exactly sure why I had come.

"Where ya goin' Sullivan?" He asked, cane tapping rhythmically on the wood.

I stopped, my back still turning, and tried to keep myself form shivering again. The way he said that last sentence seemed to hit the core, even if it was as simple as 'where ya goin'?'

"Don't know, Conlon, for a walk maybe. Y'see, I was asked out here only to find nothing here." Liar, I thought to myself. Something about this boy behind me made me want to run, but at the same time he made me feel as if there were no other place I could possibly be.

I heard the Brooklyn Leader stand, and then slowly turn me around. I glanced down to his hand on my shoulder, glad that I hadn't felt it, but also disappointed.

"Hey there, ya rube. Ise got somethin' ta say ta da sistah of Jack Kelly. Now, if you'll bring her out heh for a second."

I looked into his eyes, and slowly nodded my head for him to continue.

Pulling out a cigarette he lit it and turned away, "Jus' wonderin'. Y'know, if ya might like ta go out one time." I could read the questions in his eyes, the same that were sure to be in mine, but I knew he wouldn't say a damn thing about them. Not the Leader of Brooklyn.

I turned again, and I don't think he noticed, and then I started down the dock. First, I had one guy ask me out, a sweet guy that could make me laugh.

Now, though, I was being asked out by a cock bastard that, a day ago, disapproved of me being an independent woman.

Did I have an answer?

Gee, I didn't have a damn clue.

A/N: Ok that chapter...wasn't the best. My Spot sucked, dontcha all think? Don't worry, I've already accepted the truth, YOU GUYS CAN:T LIE TO ME! lol! Ok well I tried my best, you can give me tips, I just want this chapter up. Sry it's short. I also wanted to get spot in there, but I think I may have rushed it. I need to get this organized so I'm sorry if im not as quick with chapter 5.

thanks to all my beautiful reviewers!

Disclaimer: ((starts doing drills)) Left FACE! Right FACE! About FACE! WHAT ARE YOU GRIL SCOUTS LOOKIN' AT? I DON'T OWN NOTHING YOU RECOGNIZE AND NINE BELONGS TO A CERTAIN HOT BOY I HAVE A CRUSH ON, SO GET YOUR GIRLY PANTS OFF AND SHOW ME SOME GOOD FACING MOVEMENTS, NOT THOSE BALLET STEPS YOU THINK ARE CORRECT!

Chow! (cuz i can't spell the french version! LOL!))


	5. Chapter 5

Numb

Summary: Some people are deaf, some people are blind, but I, I was numb. I could touch the softest silk and not feel a thing. A spider could crawl down my arm, and I would never know. Physically I couldn't feel, and that effected me emotionally...until I met Him.

As confused as I was, I somehow fell into a fitful sleep. My dreams were filled with a blue eyed boy. Whether the boy was Spot or Nine, I couldn't tell.

I woke up with the sun, and slowly changed into black trousers, my green suspenders and a dark blue shirt. Walking groggily down the staircase, I stopped as a knock came at the door.

Going over, I unlocked it, swung the key around my neck, and opened the door to a middle-aged man.

He stared at me in my men's clothes and slowly took off his bowler hat, "Hello, Miss..." he paused to look at a piece of paper, "Sullivan."

"Hello, Mr..." I cocked an eyebrow, waiting for him to fill in the sentence.

"Mr. Barokow." He supplied, nodding his head, "I come from Barokow Construction. I have recently purchased this land, and I plan to build an Apartment building in this location."

I stared in shock, "You can't buy my land. I bought my land." I told him, almost shrilly.

"Yes, well. I bought it at a much higher price then you, lady. I have a warrant here that says you have one week to move, or else your house goes down with you in it."

Oh, you could believe how outraged I was. Taking the paper from him, I skimmed it over. Mr. Barokow watched me, then said, "You get the money you paid for the land back. It will be put into a bank account, you will sign, and go find a new place to live."

Defeat rose in my heart, and a lump formed at my throat. Giving a slow nod, I told him, "I'll be out by the end of the week."

He gave a nod, put the bowler had on his balding head, and said, "Good day, Miss Sullivan. Sorry for the inconvenience." I wanted to laugh, if he was sorry, he wouldn't have done it. Besides, sorry's fix nothing.

I sent a glare at his back, and called out suddenly, "Sorry's don't give me a house, now do they?"

The man glanced back, but continued on his way. I gave an aggravated sigh. Time to go visit my brother, I couldn't stay mad at him forever.

I arrived at work late, missed the boat. I left a message with a messenger boy, paid him ten cents, and headed toward Manhattan.

I walked leisurely, taking all the time. I only got Sunday's off, and I spent those days buying food for the week and doing laundry. But, this day was a day for me to think. A day where I could talk to Francis, ask him for a place to stay till I found my own. It should only be a week or so. I'd come back to Brooklyn to talk to my Boss. Ask for a week or so off so I could find a place to settle into, and then everything will go back to normal.

Tears suddenly pricked my eyes when I thought about the demolition of my beautiful house. I had worked so hard for two straight years and now it would be torn to pieces!

I arrived at the Lodging House around two in the afternoon. I timidly knocked on the door, and an Italian boy with a cigar opened up. Giving me an odd look, he asked, his Italian accent so thick I barely understood him,"Can I help youse?"

"I'm looking for Fra- Jack." I said, stopping myself from using Jack's real name.

The boy glanced into the Lodging House, then back at me, "Is he gonna wanna see ya?"

I shrugged, "Possibly."

His eyes narrowed and he studied me, then said, "Ise'll be right back."

I stood there, tapping my foot slightly and glancing around me. Finally, Francis came out, "Eden? Why youse cryin'?"

I stared at him, uncomprehending. Putting a hand to my cheek I brought it down and looked at the wetness. Looking back up at him, I started, "I didn't know I was crying." I gave a small laugh, then looked down at the ground, "I need a favor, Francis. I kinda...well, first I want to apologize for the other night."

My brother shook his head, "It's s'okay." He told me, putting an arm around my shoulders and leading me down the street.

Shaking my head, I gave a sniffle, "I need a favor." I repeated.

"Ya, youse said dat."

"Yeah, well, I kinda need a place to stay for a week or two."

Francis stopped, "Why? Whatsamatta? Wha' happen to ya house?"

Looking away, I thought about the morning, and the evil man, "Some Construction company bought it. They are going to build an Apartment building. I have to be moved out by the end of the week, but i'll get the money I paid for the land in a bank account so I can get a home somewhere else."

Francis shrugged, "We got a mattress in the attic you can sleep on. Got a sink up dere too. You could stay there. Sorry it's not ya home. Sorry about your home."

Smiling I nodded my thanks. "Thank you, Fra- Jack." I had to get used to calling him Jack.

He smiled back, "Youse's welcome. And I'm sorry about not tellin' everyone bout youse. I jus'...I don't know, Eden. It's hard to explain you. I don't even get you half da time."

I nodded knowingly, "I know, Jack. It's ok. And thanks again, but I gotta go now. I have to talk to my boss."

Jack Kelly smiled, all trace of my brother gone, and the Manhattan Newsie Leader replacing him. I waved to him, and slowly walked back to Brooklyn.

I sat on the dock, looking out across the river. I saw a boat that looked faintly like _Daybreak_, but I wasn't entirely sure. Sitting in the sun all afternoon gave me time to think about the night before. I liked being out with Nine. He was sweet, but, somewhere deep inside a voice told me he was too sweet. If that made any sense at all. And then my thoughts shifted to Spot.

Something was off. The way he acted last night was not how Spot Conlon, leader of the Brooklyn Newsies, would act. To me, he didn't seem the type to ask just a random girl out. Especially with the way he looked at me the other day, dressed in men's clothes.

I looked up as a shadow pass over me, and then smiled up at the boy. "Where were youse?" Nine asked huffily, hands on his hips in a rather girlish way. I laughed as he sat next to me, his long legs hanging off the dock. The boat had docked, and I had been so deep in thought I barely noticed.

"Sorry, I had a problem this morning I had to deal with." I looked around for our boss. "Where's Mr. P?" I asked. Mr. P was the nickname we had called our boss. It stood for Predominant, because he was our boss, there for he was above us.

A gruff voice said from the boat, "Don't call me dat!"

Laughing, I boarded the fishing boat, swaying along with it, "Hey, Mr. P!"

"Hello. And where were youse all day? We came back at lunch to find a messenger boy! Not the person I needed, especially with all the damn jellyfish! Sue got stung three times."

"I'm sorry." I told him sincerely, and I knew he saw it in my eyes. It wasn't easy finding an honest worker, and he knew I hated liars. "This morning I found out the land my house sits on was bought, so I have a week to move. Then I gotta find a place to stay."

My boss pursed his lips, "So you need a leave of absence?"

I nodded slowly, then added, "I'll come when I can. I'm staying with my brother for awhile and he lives in Manhattan. I'll be here looking for a house or something. I'll be around to help all I can." I watched in earnest, and hoped not in vain, for him to decide.

Finally, he gave a nod. "Ok, but only cause youse is probably me best woiker. But, don't tell anyone else I said dat! I know youse's honest, so I expect you back soon!"

I smiled and hugged him, and when I pulled away he was blushing.

Jumping back on the dock, I smiled at Nine, and we hooked arms heading into the busy streets of Brooklyn not completely sure where we were even going.

A/N: Sorry it was short! Next chapter will be better! PROMISE! I know I said this one would be, but I needed her outta the house (for my own reasons you'll find out later) and this came to me, like BAM! So, please review! Thanks to all the people who have, and chapter 6'll be out soon!

Disclaimer: (hehe i have fun wit dese!) I own anyone you recognize...no it's the other way I don't own anyone you don't recognize...nope that's not it either...gee...OH! I don't own anyone you recognize! That's it. I'm sure if I owned Newsies, (besides living in a mansion) I'd be bragging about it instead of writing fan fictions. But, dontcha all wish we could have a Spot? And a Jack? And a Mush and Blink and...(starts drooling...) A NINE? Take my word the person Nine is based off (which happens to be a coincidence considering he has the three things i want most in a man Dark hair, blue/green eyes, and tall ) is YUMMY! hehehe! Anywho...yeah that's my disclaimer...REVIEW!


	6. Chapter 6

Numb

Summary: Some people are deaf, some people are blind, but I, I was numb. I could touch the softest silk and not feel a thing. A spider could crawl down my arm, and I would never know. Physically I couldn't feel, and that effected me emotionally...until I met Him

A week later I stood in the attic, looking around at my little home. For the moment, at least. It was nothing real special, a mattress on the floor, a door that led to the really small bathroom, and a dresser that was stuff full with all my clothes.

The red couch that had resided in my house now sat in the lobby of the LH, and the boys were always fighting to sit on it.

Oddly enough, they took no offense when, after a year, Jack finally told them about me. They were nice to me, and a few had even made me laugh. I especially liked the Race kid, he was real funny and always made me laugh, even when I beat him at poker the other night.

I didn't tell Jack about the Spot thing. Figured I'd give Spot some time, maybe find him one night and ask him what the hell he was thinking when he asked me out. He had seemed fine up until that moment.

Heaving a sigh, I turned and headed down the small ladder, and towards the bunk room where the boys spent most of their evenings playing poker.

Walking into the room, I noticed a new person. Their back was turned to me and they were sitting down, so I wasn't entirely sure who it was. And then they turned around.

"CORA!" Nine exclaimed, hopping up and coming over to me.

A big smile grew on my face, "Nine!" I said, happy to have my friend with me, "What are you doing here?"

"Come ta see how youse settlin' in!" He said, matter o' factly.

"Well, I'm doing pretty good. Can't complain seeing how my other home is in pieces." Nine smiled sadly.

"Still sorry to here 'bout dat." He told me, "Ise thought it was nice."

I nodded, then turned to the boys at the table, "Deal me in?"

Race nodded eagerly, "Ise'll beat ya dis time, Kelly." So they had stuck me with Jack's last name, and Jack agreed with it. "Dat way everyone knows your me sis." He had said to me, and I had shrugged.

"Not on my watch, Higgins." I told him, taking Nine's seat while he pulled a chair up next to me.

As Race unknowingly dealt me a very good hand, I could feel Nine's excitement rise. He gave a gasp at the last card dealt, and I wanted to smack him. "Quit it." I mumbled to him.

He nodded, but the smile was still there. Race was smirking as he watched us. "Good hand, huh, Nine?"

Nine nodded, and I smacked him, "Nine! He's the enemy, quit ratting me out!"

He gave a guilty look, "Sorry, I'm not good at poker."

"I can tell." I commented. But, I won that round anyway.

We all played well into the night, and then headed to bed. I made my way to the roof, not yet ready to sleep and wake to a new day.

I was surprised to see Jack already up there, smoking a cigarette, and listening to the sounds of the city that never sleeps.

Sitting down, I took the cigarette from him and inhaled it. I didn't smoke much, but I enjoyed the few times I got with one. Handing it back I asked, "Still goin' ta Santa Fe, Jack?" I asked, closing my eyes slightly.

"Mmm hmm." He murmured, "Not yet, but soon."

"That's pretty cool." I commented, opening my eyes, and turning to stare at my brother.

"Goin' anywhere, Cora?"He asked, flicking the cigarette onto the dark street below. I watched the embers crash to the ground, sending red dots flying out in all directions, and then diminishing.

"Don't know, Jack. Maybe Paris, now that I don't have a home." It hit me there, I was homeless. I didn't have anybody waiting for me, anyone who wanted to be there for me. I was to Numb to ever let anyone want to be there for me.

"Hmm, Paris would suit you, I guess. Heard they built a giant tower, the Eiffel Tower. They think it's ugly, but I seen a pictura. I think it's nice lookin'."

I nodded, even though I'd never seen it. We sat there a long while, till Jack decided to retire to bed. I bid him good night, and sat there. Sat there all the way till sunrise. I slipped down the fire escape when I heard Kloppman wake up the boys, and headed for the Distribution Center so I could wait for Jack. Soon as he bought his papes, I'd buy one for him and go house hunting.

Of course, I never thought about the one little problem with that. As Jack came over and handed me a pape, I stared. Ok, I had grown up on the streets and had never really been taught to read.

I stood there a moment, paper in hand, just staring down at it. Eyebrows furrowed, I stared at the letters, trying to make some sense of them. I hadn't ever really needed to know how to read, guess it never occurred to me.

Looking up, I caught Jack watching me. His eyes held a concern that I wasn't use to. He seemed to be asking me a question with his eyes, but I was distracted by something else.

Coming up the street you could hear it. Clear as the wheels of the carriages, clear as the voices of the Newsies already selling. The soft, _step, click, step, click, step, click._

Out of the crowd came the very intimidating figure of Spot Conlon, that insufferable cane clicking with every other step. He walked up to Jack, barely sparing me a glance. Probably still cold about me turning him down. In my opinion, I was helping him!

"Heya, Jacky-boi. Wat's goin' on in 'Hattan? Pickin' up scoundrels?" He asked, casting me the smallest glance.

Jack didn't seem to notice. Some brother. "Heya, Spot. Nuthin' much goin' on here. Haven't seen no graftas. 'Cept a few of dem Queens Characta's."

Spot nodded, "Ise know. Dem Queens is getting' on me noives. If ise get one more threat, Ise declarin' war."

Smiling, Jack agreed, "Lucky dey between us, we could surround 'em." Spot nodded along and turned to talk to a few of the other boys.

Coming over to me, Jack put a hand on my shoulder, "Heya, Cora. Y'need me ta help ya?" He asked it quietly.

Somehow, Spot heard it. He turned and looked me up and down, "What she need help with? Looks like a bum ta me."

Jack and I both glared at him, and I pulled away from all of them, "I don't need help." I told them defiantly, my chin sticking out, "From anyone." I glared down at the paper, and threw it to the ground, spun on my heel, and stalked away.

Before I had spun I had caught a distressed look on Jack's face, and a bit of regret slid its way into my heart. I truly didn't want to hurt him. He had helped me. Had taken me in when I was homeless, but I was to proud to take help. At least when Spot was around.

Truth was, I didn't know the feeling, actual emotion, that Spot seemed to ignite into me. It scared me, and at the same time thrilled me. But, to show him this...it was unthinkable.

And, if he learned my problem? Yeah, I knew Spot's type. Arrogant leader. His girl would be perfect, not some misfit, guy dressing, girl who couldn't feel anything.

This bothered me, and I shrugged it off. Where the hell was I? I stared around, trying to make any clue to where I had taken myself. It wasn't Brooklyn, I hadn't walked that far, and it wasn't Manhattan because I had definitely walked too far.

I gave a growl of frustration and sat on a nearby porch step. I wanted to punch something, I was so angry. Curse my thoughts. They led me away from what I know, curse Spot Conlon for pissing me off, and curse Jack for being a leader.

A laugh to my right caught my attention. Standing, I stared at the boy. I knew him, but...I didn't know him, "Anthony?" I asked.

The boy whirled around, and saw me. A wicked grin appeared on his face, "Well, if it ain't me feelingless cousin..."

A/N: MWHAHAHAHA! Ok, a little bit of a cliffie! YAY! Cliffhangers are fun :) ok, well, I hope you all liked this, I'll try and update soon (guarantee not this weekend) so, please please please REVIEW! Thank you!


	7. Chapter 7

Numb

Summary: Some people are deaf, some people are blind, but I, I was numb. I could touch the softest silk and not feel a thing. A spider could crawl down my arm, and I would never know. Physically I couldn't feel, and that effected me emotionally...until I met Him

I don't know how long it's been since I had left my Cousin's house. Two, or three years? I wasn't sure, but I knew that when I had, Anthony wouldn't have even thought twice as dressing as he was now.

That leer, though, hadn't changed in the slightest. It seemed to get even more hideous. I stood up, not scared of him, but more concerned of how to get back to the Lodging House.

Anthony and the couple guys with him came over, and I stood my ground. Not frightened in the least.

"Ain'tcha gunna run?" He asked. I gave him a scowl.

"You should know better, Anthony. I didn't run from ya two years ago, and I ain't runnin' now." That's what Jack does, I thought, but dared not say it to this rat.

He sent a, 'Don't listen to her,' smirk to the boys behind him, and then turned back to me. "Ise remembah." Horrible accent. He was trying to hard, "And you still shouldn't talk to me dat way." His hand shot out and I watched it enclose around my arm. It appeared that he was trying to squeeze my arm.

I gave a laugh, he knew I couldn't feel anything, so why bother?

"She can tawk ta ya anyway she wants ta." A voice said behind me. I turned slightly.

Ahh, my men in dirty rags. Jack and Spot stood a little ways away, newpapers tucked under one arm, glares lighting up their faces. "Jack," I said, "I got this."

He sent me a look that clearly said that I should keep my mouth shut. So, rolling my eyes, I turned my back as they flanked either side of me. Spot grabbed Anthony by the wrist, and stared him down, obviously doing to Anthony what Anthony tried to do to me.

The boys backed away, "It's Spot Conlon." A few whispered. Guess it's good to have a rep. Maybe I should get one.

"Beat it, Brute. Take your sissy's with you." Spot said, so calmly I wanted to applaud him. This is how I pictured the tough Brooklyn Leader.

Jack had gently taken my arm with out my realizing, and started leading me the way I had come. When we were a block away from Spot and Anthony, AKA Brute, Jack turned to me. I looked at his hands and figured he had dropped my forearm, and then looked back up at him. I had made my face indifferent, knowing that he'd yell at me for taking off.

"Ise can't take ya anywhere, Eden." He said calmly, surprising me out of my mask.

"Sorry." I said, that guilt that had lodged itself in my heart pumping furiously.

"It's sok, now. So, now tell me, wha' happened?" He asked, and I could sense someone behind me. It wasn't a feeling, just a knowledge.

"Well, I was angry, so I started walking away from you and Spot, and I ended up here. Where ever this is."

Spot came next to Jack, scowling at me, "Dis is Queens, dahlin'. And dat back dere was Brute, da leadah."

I gave him a scowl of my own, "Dat back dere," I mocked, pointing behind me, "Is my cousin, Anthony, who I lived with for nine years. Well, his father was my cousin." I folded my arms in front of me, and watched Jack's face.

"Ise's related ta dat...dat, _thing_?" Jack asked, shock all over his, and Spot's, face.

Giving a small smile, I nodded. I pushed by the two, "Excuse me, boys, I need to go house hunting."

"How're ya gonna do dat?" Jack asked, shaking out of the shock.

Stopping, I shrugged, my back still turned.

"Ok, I'll see wha' Ise can do." Jack said, and he appeared next to me. I jump slightly, but nodded.

"Why can't she use a pape?" Spot asked, appearing on my other side. I gave another jump, then glared.

"Well, Conlon, if you'd really like to know, I can't read."

Spot stared for a moment, then smirked, "Dat's it? Ya can't read? Dat's a piece of cake. I could teach ya, hell, Snyder could teach ya."

"If it is so easy, then you can." I shot back, not realizing what I was getting myself into.

"Alrigh' Ise will." Spot said, starting the incessant tapping of the cane again.

I glared daggers at the cane, "Alright. Give me a paper."

"When we get back ta da Lodgin' House, Doll. I'll teach ya then." And he turned his face profile, and smirked.

SMIRKED!

A/N: Ok, I'm sorry it's so short, but it just seemed like the place to stop it. I hope you all like, and I'll have the next chapter out soon. I'm actually gonna go and work on my Asylum fic. Please REVIEW!


	8. Chapter 8

Numb

Summary: Some people are deaf, some people are blind, but I, I was numb. I could touch the softest silk and not feel a thing. A spider could crawl down my arm, and I would never know. Physically I couldn't feel, and that effected me emotionally...until I met Him

"What the hell! Knife shouldn't be spelled with a 'k'!" I exclaimed. What the hell was wrong with the English language? Knee and Knife should be spelled how they sound, not K-nife and K-nee. It was absolutely retarded.

Spot gave me that look that I was getting use to. The 'You're-being-diffucult, shut-up and listen.' look. "Dat's da way it's spelled, like it or lump it."

I shot him a savage glare, "I'll lump it, thank you very much. How the hell do you understand it all, and you speak the worst English in the history of man-kind?"

He gave a grunt and turned the sheet of paper over. "Now, the lettah 'L' is written like dis capitalized. And like dis lowah case." He wrote it down and I copied it angrily.

Jack walked in, "How's lessons goin'?"

Spot watched me copy as he talked, "Youse got da most stubborn and difficult poison for a sistah Ise evah met."

I gave a snort, "Please, stop with all the compliments." I said sarcastically as I handed back the paper for him to choose some words for me to spell.

He continued, ignoring what I had said, "She tinks Ise teachin' her da wrong language. And, when something's not right, she sits here and curses. Foul mouth for a lady." He shook his head in disgust, and handed the paper back.

I furrowed my brow at the words. Spot had said I couldn't read until I knew how to write. So, now I was learning this god forsaken language by someone who could barely speak it, and, to top it off, he was being absolutely evil. He had decided that Thursdays he'd come to Manhattan to teach me, afternoon only. And every other day I had to come, afternoon only, to Brooklyn to learn. That meant I had to cross through Queens, risking the run in with my cousin, and next time I wasn't so sure I'd be lucky enough to have the two idiots with me, jsut to learn to read and write.

Handing the scrawled paper back, he nodded in satisfaction. "Now, sound each woid out."

So I sat there, writing and reading with the most pig headed, stubborn mule of a man. Oh joy.

It was when the Newsies had slowly arrived from selling the afternoon edition that Spot finally called it the end of the lesson.

"Finally!" I exclaimed, never being a sit down and learn type of person.

Spot watched me, shaking his head, and then pointed his finger at me, "Youse will come with me tomorrah, Ise'll sell, and then we'll get back to where we'se stahted."

I sighed, then gave him a salute, "Aye Aye, Captain."

"Awright, get away from me, Ise had enough of you." He said, lighting a cigarette. I smirked, then placed a hand over my heart in mock hurt. He just smirked back and inhaled.

I gave an award winning smile, turned and skipped off. Racetrack was at a table playing poker, so I decided to be with a person who wouldn't bite my head off.

Sitting down, I looked at the other boys at the table. A few I vaguely recalled. Kid Blink, Mush, and Skittery. A few whose names evaded my memory, and then my bestest buddy, "Nine!" I exclaimed again, shocked to see him.

He smiled, "Wondered when youse would notice me."

"I didn't know you came to Manhattan so much." I said, and Racetrack started laughing. I looked at him, eyebrows furrowed, "What?"

Nine was blushing and he punched Race in the arm, "Shudup, Race." It was a sharp command.

"What?" I asked again, looking at all the faces around me. A few were hiding smirks behind hands, and a few shaking in silent laughter, like Racetrack. "C'mon, just tell me."

"They's laughin' 'cause Nine likes ya, dat's why he's been here." That familiar voice said. I turned to see Spot leanin' on the back of my chair. I hadn't even sensed him.

Turning my gaze on Nine, I saw his face even redder, but he kept his mouth shut. Then, when his eyes finally met mine, they fell down, and he sat up, "Wha' happened to ya ahrm, Cora?"

I looked down, and from the corner of my eye I saw Spot look down. Right where Anthony's hand had tried to squeeze my wrist was a black and blue mark in the shape of a hand. My eyes widened. I had had bruises before, but not since I was little. One time, when I was sitting around a camp fire, my knee had touched the fire and everyone had freaked out. I hadn't even known what was happening. But, I still had a scar.

I pulled my wrist under the table to rest on my lap, "Nothing. I ran in to an old acquaintance."

Spot gave a low growl, one I only heard, and then stalked off.

I turned to watch him retreat, wondering why he was suddenly mad. This time I hadn't done anything.

Turning back to the game, I caught Nine watching me. I gave him a smile, and looked down at my cards.

We played for most of the night. But, for most of the time we didn't bet with anything. Hey, we were poor.

I didn't sleep that night. I couldn't. Some reason, I don't quite know what, but sleep evaded me. It was like a turtle, peeping in and out of its shell. I constantly turned, turned, and turned. Then, finally, at sunrise, I went up to the roof. Just to watch.

It was shining, a million different yellows, reds, and oranges. The smallest of purple clung, like a lost shadow.

"Gorgeous, ain't it?" His voice said, whispering almost. It made me jump.

Watching him sit down next to me, his blue eyes fixated on the rising sun, I nodded. We acted like that night never happened. That moment on the docks was a mere memory, faded away like the night at this moment.

He seemed different. His face was masked now, as if that night on the docks was someone entirely different. Though his face was different, somehow I could still see it all in his eyes. The ones that screamed for truth and beauty.

Spot Conlon was a highway man. I have heard of them, a poem was read to me long ago in my past about one. A man who falls in love. And when he does, it takes his everything. He would climb a wall and leave a lonely red rose on a windowsill at midnight. He hides his wounded heart behind a mask.

He lived in his own world of quiet intensity, waiting for someone to share it with. The right person.

These thoughts came to me in a span of a few seconds as I watched him, and slowly he turned to meet my eyes. I felt a jolt, a connection, and something brushed my hand. When I glanced down, I realized he had done it again. I had _felt_ his hand on mine.

I pulled my hand towards me, scared. I believe he saw the fear in my eyes, and he turned away. We didn't speak until the sun was up all the way and the bursts of colors were faded.

He stood up first, and put his hand out to help me up. "Ready ta go?" He asked, voice still soft, as if he was afraid to scare away the morning.

Nodding my head, I contemplated taking his hand. Could I feel?

With that question going through my head, I didn't give a second thought. I slipped my hand in his. Another jolt, and I could feel his calloused hand. Ink stained and rough, but somehow like heaven.

It only lasted a second, and then it was gone. To me, it felt like a lifetime.

A/N: I enjoyed writing this chapter immensly. So, now, did you all like? Please tell me in a review!

Disclaimer: I do not own anybody you recognize. I wish I owned Nine, but he is his own person. I own Cora/Eden, Anthony (YUCK!), and anyone else you don't know.


	9. Chapter 9

Numb

Summary: Some people are deaf, some people are blind, but I, I was numb. I could touch the softest silk and not feel a thing. A spider could crawl down my arm, and I would never know. Physically I couldn't feel, and that effected me emotionally...until I met Him

The beautiful morning soon evaporated into a cloudy, overcast day. The clouds seemed to burst with awaiting rain, as Spot and I hurried along the streets.

Spot gave a low growl, "Sellin' is goin' ta suck with no one on da streets." I heard him mumble, but at that moment something caught my eye.

I stopped. It held my attention, like it knew what I needed. I reached a hand out to touch the glass window as the sky opened up and threw at us its contents. I barely noticed. I vaguely thought that I had lost Spot, but it seemed irrelevant to the thing staring at me.

It was pitch black, it's bright green eyes staring almost other worldly at me. Must have been the smallest kitten in the whole batch playing around in the window. It sat still, just watching me. I held it's gaze as the rain fell into my eyes, but I couldn't blink, couldn't break this connection.

At that moment, I could feel. Actually feel. The rain drops, refreshing and almost sweet as they rolled down my face and onto my lips. The glass beneath my finger tips, cool and smooth.

The feeling went away as the kitten was pounced on, and we broke contact. That's when I heard Spot shouting my name, "Cora! Cora, where were youse?" He asked, coming up next to me.

I turned to face him, and he scowled, "Lookin' at a buncha cats?" He asked.

I glanced back, "Just the black one. I like him, there's something...something about him."

Spot watched me for a moment, then looked at the sign, "'Andy's Pet Shoppe. Puppy's fifteen dollahs, Kittens ten.'" He read, then asked, "Got ten dollahs?"

Hanging my head, I replied, "Yeah, but, I gotta save for my house." I turned away from the shop, and Spot followed. I glanced back, and caught the kitten sitting there, staring at me again.

Stopping, I turned to him, "I'll be right back." I ran to the pet shop, and quickly came inside.

"Can I help ya?" A guy, about nineteen, looked up from the counter. He had curly, blonde locks, and a wide grin.

"Yeah, I'd like that little black kitten in the window." I told him, my breath fast as I remember feeling. How was it that all of a sudden, I got bursts of feeling. Nine had started it, with the chill I had gotten in the restaurant, and then Spot had continued. The chill, and the hand touch. And now...a cat?

The guy went over, opened the cage, and pulled the little black kitten out. "This one?" I nodded, and he took the kitten over to the rather rusty looking cash register. "That would be ten dollars. For a dollar more, I can give ya kitten food." He smiled that wide grin, and I nodded.

I pulled the check book out of my corset(1). I wrote down all the requirements, and then handed it to him.

"You want the cat in a box, or are ya gonna carry him?" He asked.

"It's a him?" I asked, and got a nod in return, "Ok, I'll just carry him." He handed me the kitten, and I paused once he was in my arms. For a second I could feel the silk-like fur, and then it was gone. The guy pulled a bag out from the back, not a real big bag, but I thanked him and picked it up as well. I wasn't weak.

I walked out of the shop, holding the cat close. Spot leaned next to the door, "So ya bought it?" He asked, like the cat wasn't in my arms.

"Yes, I bought him. Here, carry this." I shoved the cat food in his arms.

We started walking as I wrapped my thin jacket around the little thing. It gave a small meow and looked up into my eyes. I gave a small smile back.

"Whatcha gonna name it?" Spot asked, looking rather miserable in the rain.

"Him." I told Spot, sending him a glare. "And I think I'll name him...Twiddle." I smiled at the kitten.

"Wha' kinda name is Twiddle?" He asked.

"What kinda name is Spot?" I shot back.

Spot looked over at me, a glower on his face, but it melted and he gave a small smile, "Touché." He said, then lit up another cigarette. I scowled at the cigarette, but let it go as we neared the Distribution Center.

Few boys milled around. Some nodded their heads, and one came over and spit-shook with him, "Heya Spot." The boy said, and he glanced at me, "Isn't dat Jacky boys' sistah? And a cat?" He furrowed his brow.

"Cora, and this is Twiddle." I said, pulling out a hand out and shaking his. "And yes. I'm Jack's sister."

The guy smirked, "Da name's Tute." He smirked, and I had to smile. Tute fit him well, because a small whistle was made everytime he talked.

"Nice to meet you." I said, and he nodded.

"Always is." It was cocky, but in that way when you know someone is kidding. This guy was pretty cool.

Spot rolled his eyes, "Now dat ya met, can we get on wit things?"

Tute gave me a small smile and then turned and they started talking about unimportant things. Well, unimportant to me.

Finally, Tute gave a wave to me, and scratched Twiddle on the head. Spot turned to me, glanced at the kitten and gave another roll of those damn eyes.

I glared, "Quit rolling your eyes at my kitten."

He rolled his eyes again, just to piss me off.

"You're so immature."

A/N: Ok, this is short, but ONE I wanted it up, and TWO I like ending it here. That way I can save yummier things for the next chapter! YAY! Thank you for those who reviewed and got me to 54! Yay! I love you guys. (Dearly not queerly.) And please review and tell me what you think of Twiddle! I love him! He reminds me of my one cat, cept my cat has a white tummy (He's a tuxedo cat!)

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Twiddle, but sadly I'm not allowed anymore cats :( I already have 5, and they're the best! Well, just accept that I don't own everything. ACTUALLY I hardly own anything. So, suck it up and get off my back:)

(1) Don't know if they had check books back then, but just go with it!


	10. Chapter 10

Numb

Summary: Some people are deaf, some people are blind, but I, I was numb. I could touch the softest silk and not feel a thing. A spider could crawl down my arm, and I would never know. Physically I couldn't feel, and that effected me emotionally...until I met Him

I played with Twiddle until lunch. And then I waited. And waited. And, hey, why not wait some more?

When Spot finally waltzed in, he took one look at me, and then slapped his hand on his head, "Oops!" He exclaimed.

Rolling my eyes, I stood and headed for the doors, Twiddle following on my heels. Spot jumped to intercept me, but I just pushed by. Half way down the street, I sat down heavily on a step. That boy could make me angrier then a bull. First, he offers to teach me, and then drags me to Brooklyn and then forgets about me. Why, I oughta just give him a good punch, see if I could knock some sense into him.

"Cora." A voice said, and I sighed, turning to face him.

"What?" I snapped.

Spot sighed impatiently, and tapped his cane on the ground. I gave it a glare, and heard him heave another sigh. When I looked up, he was looking out towards the river. You could just see it between two buildings.

"Youse gotta undahstand, Cora. I was late foah a reason." He told me, still not facing me.

"Well, it better be good." I mumbled. "'Cause if you left me there waiting to bed some girl, well, I can give you a piece of my mind on just what I'm thinking of you at this moment." He noticed the tone of my voice and shot a glare at me.

"It's none of ya business, Sullivan. Ise know it's a good reason, and youse don't gotta worry youse pretty little head 'bout it."

I jumped up, "You kept me waiting for two hours! It's my business, Conlon." I had my fist shaking in his face, and he grabbed it, pushing it down to my side.

"Youse just being mad to be mad." He said, like such a know-it-all.

Rolling my eyes, I turned away, "Whatever. You know, I'm sure one of the Manhattan Newsies wouldn't mind teaching me."

"No." Spot said, grabbing my arm, and pulling me back.

This was the Spot I had seen on the docks. Maybe, this was the real Spot and how he acted around everyone else was a show. Pulling my arm out of his hand, I took a step back.

"MRRRRRREEEOOOOOOWWWWW!" Twiddle shrieked, and I jumped forward.

"Twiddle!" I exclaimed, crouching down. Twiddle shied away from me, towards Spot.

Spot reached down and petted the cat, "Ise tink ya stepped on its tail."

"Him!" I snapped, and moved closer to my kitten, "Twiddle, come here."

The kitten hid itself behind Spot's leg and I glared up at him, "You brainwashed my Kitten!" I exclaimed, a horrified look on my face.

Spot put his hands up in self defense, "Ise not da one dat stepped on its tail!"

"It's a him!" I yelled.

Spot suddenly turned defensive and angry, "Quit yelling at me!"

"WELL, IF YOU HADN'T KEPT ME WAITING, MAYBE WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS POSITION!" I yelled back.

"I HAD PROBLEMS TA TAKE CARE OF, BUT ISE CAN'T GET DAT THROUGH YA MIND!"

"WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME BEFORE HAND AND I COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING USEFUL WITH MY TIME!"

" I HAD OTHA THINGS ON ME MIND!"

"MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET THEM OFF YOUR MIND!"

"MAYBE I CAN'T!"

"THEN, YOU SHOULDN'T MAKE THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU SUFFER BECAUSE YOU 'FORGOT' TO TELL THEM A PIECE OF INFORMATION THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN USEFUL TO THEM!"

"WELL, WHEN YOU FORGET THINGS, YOU TEND TO NOT REMEMBER, THEREFORE YOU CAN'T TELL THE PEOPLE THE INFORMATION IN WHICH YOU FORGOT!"

"What?" I asked, my voice cracking.

Spot was breathing as heavy as me, and he still had a scowl on his face, "I don't know!"

We stood there, and the audience that had formed slowly dispersed. After a minute, I looked over at Spot, and said, "Well, how 'bout I just go to Manhattan and we forget everything."

The blue eyed boy shook his head, "I don't wanna forget everything." Then, he took my hand and another spark shot up my arm. This time, though, it lasted a little longer. The rough hand, the black ink stains standing out. I could feel. It lasted a minute longer as he lead me down the street, and then it was gone.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked, slightly out of breath of the whole experience.

"Ise showin' you were Ise was at." He stated, pulling me through the crowd. I was vaguely aware of Twiddle at our heels again.

After about ten minutes of walking all over Brooklyn, we stopped at a large building.

The sign in the front read, "Federal State Prison."

A/N: whew! I wanted to update, and I love the fighting scene, it was fun! Well, I hope you all enjoyed :) Please review, and cookies to those who have and will review!(btw, Sorry it's so short!)

Disclaimer: I own Baseball...ok, I don't but, DAMN! Some fine lookin' guys play that sport and I wish I did! Hehehe! Well, actually I don't own much, and i'm poor, sop sueing would waste your time and mine.! LONG LIVE BASEBALL! And hot sexy guys who play it!


	11. Chapter 11

Numb

Summary: Some people are deaf, some people are blind, but I, I was numb. I could touch the softest silk and not feel a thing. A spider could crawl down my arm, and I would never know. Physically I couldn't feel, and that effected me emotionally...until I met Him

The sign in the front read, "Federal State Prison."

I pulled out of his grasp, and lifted an eyebrow at him, "You were in jail?" I asked, anger re-building in my voice.

He gave me an annoyed look, "No. Now come on, Ise wantcha ta meet someone."

Slowly, I followed his retreating form, and before I knew it we were inside. I moved closer to Spot. I wasn't taking any chances in a place full of murderers. Even though I could guarantee myself a painless death.

Walking next to each other, we followed a guard back to a room. Spot was a gentleman, and pulled out a chair for me to sit. This surprised me, and I knew he was smirking at my surprise. Sitting, we waited only another moment, not long enough to even exchange a full sentence, and in was ushered a man. He looked to be only a couple years older then me and Spot. His hair was a bright blonde, and his eyes were the same electrifying blue as Spots'.

Spot stood up, and smiled. SMILED! The guy smiled back, but he had a questionong look on his face as he spoke, "Hey, Romeo, didn't have enough of me before?"

Face heating up, Spot replied, "Shuddup, Demetrius. Look, this here is my friend Cora. She was upset 'cause I forgot about her and wanted a good reason for me being absent."

Standing, I held my hand out. 'Demetrius' shook it. "Hallo!" He said, smiling brightly, "I'm Demetrius Conlon."

"Cora Sullivan." I said.

Raising an eyebrow, he asked, "Youse related ta Jack Kelly?"

"His sister."

Demetrius laughed, "Nevah hoid of Jack havin' a sistah!" He smiled a friendly smile, and I smiled back, inspite of myself. "So, you taken with Romeo?"

"Romeo?" I asked.

"Quit callin' me dat." Spot said, face still bright red.

"We call him Romeo because he use to have this romantic thing going on with this uppah class goil named Juliet. So, we took it from dat writer guy, and we've called him Romeo evah since." Demetrius explained, not even batting an eyelash at the angered look on Spot's face.

"Ahh." I said, nodding my head, "I get it. Though I've never read the play. "

"Well, they got a library here, and I got a lot of time. Though, it is a goily book. I mean, what guy dies for a girl?" He smirked and winked, "And what girl dies for a guy?"

Laughing, I sat down and the boys followed suit. We had an eventful hour, talking and laughing. I hadn't ever pictured Spot with a big brother. More of a big brother type. But, maybe he had to be that way since his brother obviously couldn't be there for him.

An hour later, Spot and I were out of the State Prison, and walking along the soakin' sidewalks. A drenched Twiddle cuddled in my arms.

"So, whatcha think?" Spot asked, looking straight ahead.

Glancing over, I smiled a little, "Demetrius was a cool guy." Then, hesitantly, I asked, "What'd he do?"

"Killed the leader of Queens. It was self defense, but the damned Judge wouldn't listen ta reason."

I nodded, sad that that had to happen to a nice guy like Demetrius. "So..." I said, blinking out the rain drops that fell on my eyelashes.

"So..." Spot said, "Recite the alphabet."

"Do I have to?" I asked, heaving a large sigh.

Spot cast me an annoyed look, "Yes. Ise didn't get the lessons in ta day, so you're going to recite the alphabet."

"Fine." I grumbled, "A,B,C,D..."

We were a block from the lodging house when he stopped me. "What?" I asked, somewhat irritated at having to recite the alphabet eleven times.

Pulling me with him, he dodged into a nearby alley. "Shh!" He said as I was about to protest.

Whispering fiercly, I asked, "What the hell?"

Biting his lip in an un-Spot-like way, he nodded his head, "Alright. Ise got a stalker. Her name's Mackenzie, and she won't leave me alone. So...can you just play along?" He asked.

"Spot?" A high pitched voice asked, "Oh, Spotty? Are you there?"

Spot gave me a pleading look, and I sighed, "Fine, but, Conlon, you owe me." I gave him a disapproving look while shaking my finger at him.

He nodded, then slipped an arm around my waist.

There it was again. Why was I responding so strongly to this boy? How was he able to make me feel? Make butterflies in my stomach, no matter how much I pushed the away and ignored them. I seemed to yearn for the touch, the electric shock. The moment when I could feel, the moment all five senses worked and it overwhelmed me to the point that I would get totally high off of being near this person.

Slipping my arm around his own waist, I felt him relax. He smiled down at me reassuringly, though I was sure it was for his own sake, and that's when the girl caught sight of us.

"Spotty?" She asked, and I couldn't blame him in the least, though I felt pity for the girl. Her hair was short like a guys, and her eyes were a pale brown, almost yellow.

Another annoyed look passed over his face, "Whattya want Mackenzie?"

"Who's this?" She asked, and I tilted my head slightly. I wondered how it would feel to be heart broken. I had a friend once, and the boy she liked had dumped her and she had cried and cried. I had comforted her, but I couldn't relate. I tended not to let boys get so close.

I looked over at Spot, wondering what had changed as he squeezed my waist, and I felt it. "Dis is Cora. Cora, dis is Mackenzie."

"Hi." I said, friendly. Mackenzie just stared.

"I thought you and I were..." She trailed off. I glanced at Spot.

"Spot?" I asked, "You didn't tell me you had a girl friend." I said.

Spot looked at Mackenzie, and I felt like the worse person in the world, "I don't. Mackenzie's just a friend."

Mackenzie nodded dejectedly and walked away. I waited till she was gone, and slowly pulled away from him. And as soon as I lost contact, I couldn't feel the raindrops anymore, or my hair touching my face. I was Numb again.

Spot sighed, and leaned against the wall, "I feel horrible." He said quietly, then stood straight, his face going into an icy steel mask.

I scooped up Twiddle, and followed behind him. I nearly bumped into him when he suddenly stopped.

"What now?" I asked, annoyance in my voice this time.

Turning around he looked down into my eyes. I stared up, my breath suddenly caught. Slowly, he took Twiddle from my arms, put the kitten gently on the ground, then leaned his face down, his lips meeting mine.

I could here bangs going off, and once again feel the rain against my cheeks. I could feel his lips, and his hands, which now were running through my hair. I could feel my arms circling his neck, my foot lift slightly so I could get closer to him.

In that moment, I could feel everything. The heat of his breath, and most of all the rain. The rain had always fascinated me, and I had wanted to feel it since I was little. To sing in it, to play in it, to dance in it. But, most of all, have my first kiss in it...

A/N: Hoped you all like. Please review!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even the clothes on my back...b/c I'm not wearing clothes! AHHH WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES!

ok...so review...


	12. Chapter 12

Numb

Summary: Some people are deaf, some people are blind, but I, I was numb. I could touch the softest silk and not feel a thing. A spider could crawl down my arm, and I would never know. Physically I couldn't feel, and that effected me emotionally...until I met Him

Pulling away from lack of air, I looked up into his steel eyes. I wondered a thousand different things in the space of a moment. Did he know that I was numb? Did he know how he suddenly was able to make me feel? Did he feel that spark? What was happening? What was going to happen?

I chided myself mentally, knowing there was no way he could know all that.

He was staring at me, judging my reaction. Seeing if I would flip out over him kissing me, but I couldn't do that. I had enjoyed it as much as he did.

"Spot?" A voice called, and suddenly Jack was standing there. Like a sudden blinding flash, sending us back to reality. "Cora?" He said, staring at us two.

I realized that we were still tangled in each others arms, and Spot must've realized it in the same instant, and we both pulled apart, "Hey Jack!" I said, smoothing my clothes and putting my hands behind my back. Be nonchalant.

Jack was still staring at us, and I gave a side glance to Spot, who was lighting up a cigaret. Was it bad that this made me mad? 'He's just playing along.' a voice said, but the blank look on his face made me want to slap him.

"Hey Jackie-boy. How's it rollin'?" Spot said, shakin' out the match and inhaling the tobacco.

My brother narrowed his eyes suspiciously, "I'm here for Cora. Figured I should get her. Don't want her bein' soaked in Queens."

I scowled, "I can take care of myself." I grumbled, as I began my trek back to Manhattan. It was getting very dark, and even with Jack I didn't want to be on the streets.

"Hold on a minute, Cor." Spot said, "Jack, Ise was wonderin' can I tawk ta ya." He glanced at me, "Privately."

"Well, then why'd ya tell me to hold on?" I asked.

"Cause I didn't wantcha ta walk out dere and get hurt." Spot said, no emotion flitting across his face. I cocked my head to the side, but my own features fell behind a mask, and then I turned and walked across the street, still in view of the two.

I sat on a step and petted Twiddle. Letting out a small sigh, I murmured to the cat, "That boy confuses me."

"What boy?" A voice said, making me jump up.

"Oh, hey Nine." I said looking up at the tall boy.

"Just, 'oh hey?'" he asked smiling.

I smiled back, "How ya doin'?" I asked.

He shrugged, "Alright. I was at Manhattan and they said youse was in Brooklyn. Why?"

Waving my hand to where Spot and Jack were I replied, "Spot. He's teaching me to read and write. So now I have to go everywhere with him." Which isn't bad, least not after a moment ago, that voice said.

I wanted to growl at that voice. It pissed me off sometimes.

"Ah." was all Nine said, then glanced down at Twiddle, "Aww, he's adorable!"

Funny sight, seeing a 6"4 boy playing with a kitten that's smaller then his hand. I watched and laughed, but still wondering what the hell Jack and Spot could possibly be talking about.

I turned away for Nine a moment, and watched Spot and Jack. All I could see were their profiles and the cigaret that Jack now held. Spot's face had a heated expression, as if he was fighting to win something.

Sighing, I lean back and watch Nine and Twiddle for a few more minutes, until my two men come waltzing over. Jack's face looked hard, and Spot had gone back to the emotionless mask. Jack waved his arm, "C'mon Cora. Let's get home."

I nodded, said a quick bye to Nine and Spot, then followed Jack, Twiddle tucked safely in my arms.

Practically sprinting to keep up with Jack's large strides, I breathed, "What's going on?"

Jack glanced back, then lit up another cigaret. "Look, Cora, Ise really don't wantcha ta worry. It's jus' dis whole big Queens mess. Day been buggin' us and Brooklyn for da last couple a months." He glanced at me, "Spot gets stressed sometimes, and does things he really doesn't mean."

I stopped to stare at my brother, "What?"

Stopping, but not turning, he replied, "Cora, Ise saw you and Spot. Ise don't wantcha ta get hoit. Ise tink...Spot might jus' be usin' youse ta blow off some steam."

"I never thought you'd stoop this low, Francis. To think, your trying to make me not like Spot. You know what? It doesn't matter what you think. Just because I kissed him doesn't mean I'm gonna sleep with him, or that anything will happen. You just can't see your little sister, and may I say _unfeeling_, sister to be happy! Who cares if, everytime Spot touches her, she can feel it for an instant. Who care-"

"You can feel?"He had turned around to stare at me.

I stopped my tirade, and blushed, "Only sometimes. When Spot comes into contact with me."

Jack watched me, head tilted to the side. Just staring. It discomforted me, made me feel like I was being scrutinized, like an experiment.

"Eden..." He fell silent, and we just stared at each other. Understanding. I'm not sure what we were understanding, maybe just each other, maybe we could understand that me feeling after so long may be a miracle, but it didn't matter. It just matter that now we had a stronger bond then ever before.

A/N: Ok, I've been working on this chapter for awhile, so I just ended it here b/c I have the hugest writers block EVER! So, give me some time and I'll try and work on the next one. Please review!

Disclaimer: Uhh, me not own, do not sue. I'm just an innocent obsessive person...


	13. Chapter 13

Numb

Summary: Some people are deaf, some people are blind, but I, I was numb. I could touch the softest silk and not feel a thing. A spider could crawl down my arm, and I would never know. Physically I couldn't feel, and that effected me emotionally...until I met Him.

Jack and I walked quietly home. Yes, I had admitted to myself that the Lodging house was Home, until I found my own.

We didn't speak, and when we passed through Queens, we went stiff, completely on guard. Finally, when we were about a half a mile from the LH, I got up the nerve to ask, "What were you and Spot talking about?"

Running his hand through his unkept brown hair, he glanced at me, "Spot's...he's thinkin' 'bout callin' Queens out."

Furrowing my eyebrows, I asked the inevitable question, "Why?"

"Well, I thought, at first, it was because Queens been botherin' his boys, but...now Ise think..." He trailed off.

I quirked an eyebrow, "You think what?"

He only gave me a shrug.

I huffed, and the rest of the walk was in silence.

No sooner had I walked into the door, had I been invited to a poker game, and I sat down. I couldn't explain my sudden bad mood, but the bottle of whiskey was being past around, and that was the only time I drank. I took sip after sip, and in no time I was wobbling, laughing histerically at everything, and actually sitting (SITTING!) on Race's lap!

It's a weird experience, not feeling what your doing, and it's even more dangerous when your drunk. Most drunks don't feel things when their intoxicated, but this just made it worse.

Laughing drunkenly, I smiled at Race, "You're comfy!" Of course, I didn't know that, but it made him feel better.

He grinned, "You're the funniest person drunk Ise ever seen, Cora!" He told me, lighting a cigar.

I shrieked and fell off his lap. Everyone busted out laughing, "What da hell?" Race asked, as everyone seemed to crowd around me.

I giggled, "Fire burns!" Laughing more, I said, "It can't hurt me!"

Blink rolled his eyes, "Of course it can, Cora. You're jus' drunk!"

"Whatever." I grumbled, and tried to stand, only to fall backwards, looking up at Race I asked, "Are you okay?"

Another round of laughs. Blink gave Race a devilish smile, "Say, Cora, what say you on Spot?"

Giggling, I replied, "I'd only feel fire if that boy was touching me!" I giggled, and the boys laughed again, taking it in a dirty way.

"Cora and Spot, sittin' in a tree!" Mush yelled.

Looking around, I spotted Jack, sleeping somehow through all the noise. Stumbling over, I tapped on his shoulder, "Francis!" I said, getting real close to his face.

"Wha...?" He grumbled, trying to push me away. I stumbled and fell on the floor...again.

He sat up and looked down at me, while I rolled on the floor, laughing histerically. "What'samattawitu?" He slurred, staring at me strangely.

"Hey Jack's awake!" Race called, and he came over, "Nice, Cora. Ya had to wake da sleeping beast?"

More giggles, "Hiya Race! Can you teach me to stand on my head too?"

Race inhaled his cigar, "Sorry, Jack. Don't know how she got so drunk. We just passed around the bottle, and she took sip aftah sip."

Jack gave a growl, "How couldya let yaself git drunk?" Jack asked as he got off the bed and picked me up.

"How'd ya let yaself git tired?' I shot back, of course followed by more giggles.

He set me down a moment, to glare at the boys, and I fell over, "Awww, Jack! You pushed me!" I exclaimed.

Jack turned back, "Ise didn't even touch ya!" He said, staring at me on the ground...again!

Clearing my throat, I started to sing, "Oh, the horse put his foot, put his foot on the ground! Oh, the horse put his foot, put his foot on the ground, Oh, the horse put his foot, put his foot on the ground, Oh, the horse put his foot, put his foot on the ground!"

The boys joined in as Jack tossed me over his back, and started carrying me away. I grabbed a nearby bottle of whiskey as we passed and continued to sing along, "Ain't this a terrible song! Second verse, same as the first! Ain't getting' better, but it's gonna get worse!"

They continued to repeat it as Jack threw me on my little matress. He glared down at me, as I put the bottle to my mouth, only to find it empty. Sighing in deep regret, I tossed it, and faintly heard it break on the floor.

Continuing to glare, he said, "Ise dissapointed in youse, Eden. Who knows what ya coulda let slip down dere."

I giggled, "They didn't believe me." I told him.

"Ya let somethin' slip?" He growled.

I hiccuped, "Yup. Tol' 'em, fire cna't hurt me. But, they-hiccup- didn't believe me."

Jack heaved a sigh, "What am Ise gonna do wit you?" He asked, looking over at me.

Hiccup. "Keep me?" I giggled, and suddenly, I was out like a lightbulb.

A/N: HA! I beat the writer's block! mwhahahahahahaha! Figured I'd treat you guys to a funny chapter:) Hope you all enjoyed!

Dislcaimer: I own nuffin'! Which rhymes with MUFFIN!


	14. Chapter 14

Numb

Summary: Some people are deaf, some people are blind, but I, I was numb. I could touch the softest silk and not feel a thing. A spider could crawl down my arm, and I would never know. Physically I couldn't feel, and that effected me emotionally...until I met Him.

I woke up with the sun shining brightly in my face. I rolled over, cursing the sun, and fell off my bed.

"Grrr." I growled, and gave a sigh. My mind was foggy from the alcohol, but all in all it really had no affect on me. The lack of a hangover was a plus when one was numb.

"Mornin'." A voice said, and I turned to face my brother. He stood in the doorway a glass of water in one hand and some pills in his other. "Here." he stretched the hand with the pills out.

I pushed the hand away, "Jack." I said, my voice serious, "I don't get hangovers."

He looked at me strangely, "But, I thought you said you could feel..."

"No!" I snapped it at him, and he turned away, as if he had been slapped. The anger had shown its colors in my voice and I stood up. "Jack...leave me alone. I'll be down soon."

He left the room and I turned toward the window. It was dirty, like the rest of the city, and I used my sleeve to clear a small spot to look out of.

The streets were beginning to bustle with the demands of early customers, and workers trying to make it to their jobs on time. People talked to those they knew, and laughed with strangers. Newsies began to poor from the front of the LH and I finally decided to stop my gazing and get ready for the long day ahead.

Soon I finished dressing, and slowly climbed down the stairs. Most had gone, and those that stayed took no notice of me. I heard a few muffled snickers, but ignored them to go find Jack. He met me right outside on the steps, and gave me a small, somewhat uneasy, smile.

I forced one back, "Ready?"

Jack nodded and I went on my way, him keeping close to my side all the way to the distrubution office. Race and a few were waiting them, and felt the need to make some comment about me, Spot, and fire. I gave them quizzical looks, but ignored them.

After buying us papes, Jack took me through half the city to where his selling spot was, and we began the art of newsieing.

I'm pretty sure I wasn't expecting anything bad to happen this day. I guessed that, if I saw Spot there would be an awkward moment. But, what really happened was something I didn't see coming. I mean, do you ever really see things like this come at you?

We were sitting happily in Tibby's, the boys telling me what I did when I was drunk, when all of a sudden...Spot walked in.

He looked like himself, his red suspenders and golden tipped cane. The slingshot sticking out of his back pockets. The difference was the bags under his eyes, and the slight slouch in his normally stiff, stern posture.

Oh, and did I mention the girl on his arm?

**A/N: This is where I have to leave it. You can all yell at me about the slow update and the short chapter, but I PROMISE I'm going to go work on Chapter 15 RIGHT NOW! You guys just read this, review (b/c u want to yell at me, and then egg me on to update), and wait for Chapter 15 which will be up soon i promise. Otherwise, to other news...**

**((throws confetti and dances around)) WOO HOO! 103 REVIEWS! You reviewers ROCK! Thank you very much for staying behind my odd story! ;D I'm glad so many of you like. This Story currently has, **

**(None of these include this chapter!) **

**Words: 17401**

**Chapters: 13**

**reviews: 103**

**Hits: 4854**

**C2s: 1**

**Favs: 21**

**Alerts: 24**

**It's currently # 1 in the following categories: **

**Alerts, Favs, and Hits. **

**2nd in words, and reviews! **

**Just wanted to thank all you guys! **

**Dislaimer: fourteen times i've done this...WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND! lol! J/k me now own...which ryhmes with PHONE!**


	15. Chapter 15

Numb

Summary: Some people are deaf, some people are blind, but I, I was numb. I could touch the softest silk and not feel a thing. A spider could crawl down my arm, and I would never know. Physically I couldn't feel, and that effected me emotionally...until I met Him.

Have you ever had a moment in your life when you all of a sudden know that from that point on, everything will be different? Nothing will ever be the same? Well, I guess you could say this was my moment.

And the thing that hurt me the most, second to the pitying look my brother gave me, was the way he _ignored _me.

That's right. IGNORED ME!!!

Suddenly, all the swear words I had ever learned in my life came screaming into my head. Each word dirtier then the last. I felt this rip begin to form on my heart, my breath got shallow, and I looked away from the two.

I gazed out the window. This is what a heartbreak feels like? Why was I feeling this way? Emotional pain so deep, it couldn't even rival a thousand knives stabbing me, even if I was able to feel.

Was that it? Was that the reason this sudden lost feeling was for? Because for once I had learned what it was like to physically _feel?_

Race, who had been sitting next to me, laid a comforting hand on my arm. I turned to face him, and that moment I knew I wasn't alone. He motioned me to follow him out, and with out a word, I did.

Jack greeted Spot and the girl, and then turned away and walked out with us.

It was silent for about three blocks, when Race stopped. Jack and I followed suit, and the three of us just stared at eachother. I turned to Jack, threw my arms around his neck, and hugged him.

There is nothing in the world better then hugging your best friend. Your brother. Someone who _gets_ you. Totally and completely, excepting every flaw every laugh line, every bump in your character. I hung on to him, clinging like the world would shatter if I let go...and for a moment, I was scared it would.

"It's gonna be okay, Eden." He said those words at the perfect time.

I pulled away, and then hugged Racetrack, just for being a sweet caring guy. Friend.

Heaving a sigh, I threw back my shoulders, and stood up straight, "I'm Eden Cora Sullivan. I can't feel a thing, and I got major kick ass moves. Spot Conlon is an ass, and the girl a whore. Let's go finish lunch."

Jack gave a big smile, and Race laughed around the cigar he had lit. We started walking and I turned to my brother, "I'm sorry I was a grouch this morning." I told him, guilt rising in my heart. Those pitying eyes he had given me felt like something I deserved after the way I had treated him this morning.

"It's s'ok." He replied, shrugging and lighting a cigarrette.

Nodding, I explained, "You know how it is. When someone's different, they tend to be bitter about it. So reminding me that I was able to feel once...just made me angry an...I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

He shrugged again, glanced down at me, and gave me that easy, everythings-going-to-be-alright smile.

I smiled back and walked into Tibby's as Jack held it open. Race walked in first, and Jack followed. We sat down at the booth with Spot and his friend, and continued to eat our food.

As I was munching on my little bit of fries, I felt a set of eyes on me. Looking up I caught a pair of pale greens looking at me, pure hatred radiating from them. "Hola." I said to her, licking the palm of my hand and sticking it out to her.

She scowled at it and refused to shake hands. I gave her a wicked grin and shrugged, pulling my hand back in. This could be fun.

Eyeing me, she leaned closer to Spot, wrapping her arms around his waist. He wasn't paying attention, waving his hands around while telling some story to Jack, he accidently elbowed her in the face.

The girl gave a squeak, pulled fast away from him, and covered her nose. I saw a trickle of red from her hand, and busted out laughing.

Tears streamed down her eyes and Spot's eye widened when he realized what he had done. "Oops!"

That made me laugh harder. Race even had to laugh at that, while Jack ran to go get napkins. I couldn't help how funny a situation it was.

The girl glared at him, and I'd give her points. I'd be made if my boyfriend said oops! After elbowing me in the face. The only thing was that it wasn't me and it was HILARIOUS!!!

Race and I soon left to go sell our afternoon edition, and when we got back to the lodging house, we were still talking about it.

It seemed it was the highlight of my day.

Walking into the bunkroom, she was surprised to see Spot. This time, though, no leech was attached to his arm.

Ignoring him she headed over and sat down a few seats away. "How's it hangin' Sullivan?" he asked, eyeing the cars.

"Short, scrawny and to the left, so your girlfriend told me." I snapped at him. He looked up at the venom in my voice, surprise in his eyes.

"Got a problem, Cor?" He asked, eyeing me with all of a sudden distaste.

"Yeah, you Conlon. And the names Eden." Had it really turned back into heated banter? What happen to the slight friendship we had built the last few days?

The boys joined us at that moment for a nice game of poker. And very soon I was broke. Sighing, I leaned back on two legs of my chair, chewing on a toothpick one of the boys had given me, and madly hating my cards.

Why couldn't thinks for once work themselves out? Why would things, for just a moment, be almost perfect, and then all of a sudden be shot to hell? What had I done in a past life to deserve this? Next time, I wanted to come back as a shoe shinging brush. Atleast then I could bring beauty to the world...making shoes shiny!

"Hey, Eden! It's your turn. You in?" Spot asked waving a hand in front of my face. I smacked it away and set down my cards.

"Fold. And Out." I stood up, nearly knocking my chair backwards, and climbing out the window.

Once on the roof, I took a deep breath, and then let it out slowly, "Ok, Eden." I coached myself a loud. "You're going to be fine. We'll see a realtor tomorrow, get a house out in the country, and never worry about city life, newsies, or Brooklyn leaders that are somehow your cure."

"Cure for what?" A voice asked, and I whipped around.

I growled, "Go away Conlon, this has nothing to do with you?"

"Brooklyn Leaders sound like something to do with me." He said, calmly walking towards me. He had the prowl of a tiger. Lion. Like he was going to destroy me at that moment, but he'd do it in his own good time.

I felt like snarling, going on a rampage and just screaming obsenities at him. I wanted to hit him, punch him, make him feel all the pain he had caused me in one day. I wanted it to be in three folds, seven folds, ten folds.

But I just stood there, seething. Picturing this all in my mind and knowing I wouldn't have the guts. I couldn't hurt him. I don't think I ever could.

Turning away, I want back to the coaching, but this time it was mentally. Why had I said those things aloud? Why was I being so GOD DAMN stupid?

I watched him come up beside me from the corner of my eye, but I ignored him. It was hard, hating someone so much, but knowing you'd never hurt them.

We stood there, just looking out at the New York Skyline. It was beautiful, but my emotions were in such a torment that I couldn't appreciate it.

All of a sudden, I felt a spark and then I felt his hand slip into mine.

I pulled away, away from him and the feeling. I wanted to be numb, I didn't want to feel all the pain, "What do you want?" I choked out, staring at him.

He looked on in surprise as I backed away, "Ise don't want anything." He said, taking a step towards me.

"Leave me alone, Conlon." I forced it out and threw it with all my might.

"Eden..." He began, then his eyes darkened, "Fine." He headed towards the fire escape and I felt my heart tug after him.

When he was gone, I fell to the ground. A heap. I let it out there. I cried.

What had I done? I had pushed away the only thing that could have saved me.

But, hadn't he pushed me away first? Was I really to blame?

I laid on the roof the rest of the night, soaked in my own tears, but feeling nothing other then my own heart breaking...how had I fallen so fast and so hard?

A/N: ((raises eyebrows)) Eh? Long chapter, huh? You know you liked it!! full of laughter and angst...sadness and heart wrenching pain :-( Poor Cora...Well, Maybe she'll get better, we won't know till I update so I expect LOTS of reviews for my fast (and should i dare say) LONG update?

Thanks a BILLION to my reviewers! And a MILLION to the readers, you guys rocketh the world!

Disclaimer: Do I really need to tell u AGAIN?!?!? Well, I don't own...just let me imagine...


	16. Chapter 16

Numb

Summary: Some people are deaf, some people are blind, but I, I was numb. I could touch the softest silk and not feel a thing. A spider could crawl down my arm, and I would never know. Physically I couldn't feel, and that effected me emotionally...until I met Him.

"Youse gonna be okay?" Jack asked, staring me hard in the face.

"'Course I am, Jack. I always get back up." I informed my brother as he handed me my suitcase. I was leaving, finally. I had to get away from New York, from Brooklyn, and from him.

"Ok..." And Jack gave me a great big hug. I hugged him back, wishing I could feel his warmth, his reassurance. But, I couldn't. Never again could I.

Those physical feelings I didn't experience long, but when I did, they had overwhelmed me. When I think back, I can't really remember the exact way Spot's hand had felt on mine, or the way his soft lips seem to warm mine. I wanted more then anything to remember, but I couldn't. It had been three weeks, and I hadn't seen or heard anything about Brooklyn or its leader. The boys hadn't said a word, and Spot hadn't come to visit.

Of course, I didn't want him to visit...or atleast thats what I told myself. But, in my heart of hearts, there was no one in the universe I wanted to see more.

Maybe it had been love. Maybe Love could heal everything. Maybe it could heal this disease that I had all my life. I guess I'll never know. Looking back, it seems like our whole time together had been a dance. But, a dance in which we never touched, came milliseconds close to each other, but then suddenly spun off in different directions.

Finally we had touched, though.

And it shattered us.

It grabbed us, held us. Locked us together, forever we were intertwined with one another. And then he shattered it. He spun off, grabbed someone else. Someone he hadn't known when it took so long for us to touch in the first place. I was left, like I had on that roof. Cold. Alone. Numb. Like I would always be. Like I should be.

I wanted to scream, rip her hair out, but instead I laughed it off, put my sorrows, anger, and heart back in the bottle. But it was too late. It had crumbled and fell so easily into the bottle, and was now stuck to the sides, plastered there with the wetness of my tears.

Shaking my head, I willed myself out of the thoughts that had consumned my being for the last few weeks. The first few days after the roof incident, when I had finally pushed Spot over the edge and out of my life, Nine visited many times to cheer me up.

At first I tried to please him with a few half hearted smiles, but he caught on easily enough, and finally stopped coming.

Race told me a week ago that he had bought a boat finally, and was probably half way to Greece.

Thats when it hit me. I had to move on, sail away from this City. Nothing was here for me, as nothing was here for Nine. Sometimes, fate needed you to go in a different direction.

I turned to the train, its great iron mass towering my tiny five foot. I could feel my brother watching me, and I felt as I had the night I had met Spot on the dock. I felt confused as to why people act the way they act, how could Spot have been so different that night? Maybe I had glimpsed that side again when we had kissed. Maybe that was another act of his.

Confusion was a force to be reckoned with.

But as I stepped onto the first steps of the train, I felt a wave of regret. I regretted not seeing more of the city in which I had strived to live in. I regretted not getting to know more of the Manhattan Newsies. I regretted not taking the time to watch the leaves turn from green to orange and red.

A wave of this feeling that could only be described as loss washed over me.

I hated that I never appreciated the world around me a little more. I always felt the whole city was against me, but now that I was leaving.

I glanced back at Jack, just as a small kid came running up to him and pulled on his sleeve. I watched Jack turn to the kid, watched the kid say something, watched Jack's face change, watched as the world nearly fell apart around me.

It was the feeling you get when you know something has gone wrong. A disruption in the spinning of the earth. Jack turned to me, in that slow motion kinda way, his face was indescribable. Everything and the kitchen sink was written there, and it told me a million things at once.

But, somewhow, I knew...

...Spot was in trouble...

A/N: You guys HATE me, huh? You'd love to hate me, u know it. I took SOOOO long to update and I leave you here. Truth is I didn't kno where I was going and now I do!!! YAY FOR JOKER!!! And Another chapter will be up soon!! YAY!!! So, Happy Halloween everyone, scare some kids while ur out there!!!

Disclaimer: I own everything and the kitchen sink, and theres nothing you girlys ca do bout it! Lol j/k i dunown. :p Review please!! I really threw myself into this chapter and I hope you liked it!!! (sorry it was short :/)


	17. Chapter 17

Numb

Summary: Some people are deaf, some people are blind, but I, I was numb. I could touch the softest silk and not feel a thing. A spider could crawl down my arm, and I would never know. Physically I couldn't feel, and that effected me emotionally...until I met Him.

My chance, my one shot, to leave New York was coming to a close. As I reached Jack, my eyes searching his face, I knew it was now or never. Leave the place I had known for so long. The place that healed and broke me, or stay and help the man I loved.

And thats when I knew it. Call it a typical cliché, but the moment I knew he was in danger, I knew I'd stay. I'd stay because I loved him, and he gave me feelings no one had ever given me. Not even God himself.

"Who?" Was the only thing I got out. Jack grabbed my hand, knowing the truth even before I myself had.

"Anthony. You know Brooklyn and Queens haven't been getting along." He told me, pulling me through the mass of people that filled the train yards.

I cursed beneath my breath, hating Anthony more then I ever had. "Where are they?"

"Some old house on the edge of Queen territory, but I gotta go get me boys." Jack replied as we got to the street heading away from where I now knew Queens was.

I stopped, pulling Jack around to face me, "Go get your newsies. I gotta go there now." Defiance lit my eyes, and I knew Jack knew there'd be no backing down.

Sighing, he let go of my hand, "Be careful, Eden."

I had never heard him say my name so affectionately. It actually made it sound good for a second...and then I turned and ran.

I'm sure I ran into a lot of people, but I didn't feel a thing. I was water, flowing along un tainted and unstoppable.

He hadn't said exactly where the house was, but somehow I found myself standing across the street from it...it seemed to lean to one side. It's shudders and sideing shades of brown and the windows were caked with filth. The steps were rotting and the porch railing was broken off and lay on the ground some feet away. The screen door opened and slammed from the wind from the river in which it sat by.

It looked as if, in its day, it could have been the most beautiful house. It also seemed to be out of place, as if someone had hauled it up from the southern states. It's porch wrapped around it. While it leaned, it still towered atleast two stories.

I stood there, staring at this house, feeling a pang in my heart. It had been through hell...and it was still there.

Crossing the front lawn, I walked up to the front door and knocked on it.

Most people would think that was a pretty stupid idea. But, it turned out alright. No one answered, and I walked inside.

It smelled of the river, and the floor creaked loudly, but it was still pretty nice inside. "Spot?" I called out. Maybe he'd make a sound and I could find him.

Sure enough, I heard a groan come from a room at the top of the steps. I hurried up, and then gasped when my right foot went through the seventh step on my way up. What a shock to look down and see my leg halfway through the floor, bleeding profusely.

Taking my left foot and putting it on the eighth step, I pulled my leg up and out of the broken step. And took the last few very carefully.

When I got to the top I saw, right in front of me, the door open, Spot. He sat in a chair against the wall in the room.

Starting toward him, my heart gave a flutter. I shivered as he lifted his head to the coming footsteps.

His blue eyes, as blue and devastatingly gorgeous as ever, looked at me. There wasn't shock, or anger. No hate, or love. No scorn for what I was doing. I was behaving in, what I knew Spot would think of as, a man's manner.

But, he just watched. As I came to him, he forced a smile. "Heya."

I crouched down to untie the ropes. "Hey." I said quietly, and then, "You owe me twice now." I was close to him as I began un knotting the ropes. So close, that I felt a tingle fun up my arm, and I could feel the coarse texture of the rope which held him hostage.

He laughed slightly, "We ain't out yet, doll." It was silent and then, "What happened ta ya leg, Cora?"

Laughing slightly while untieing the last knot, I replied, "Fell through a step, but it's all fine."

"Doesn't look it." He said to me, standing up. I waited to see if he'd rub his wrists, but he didn't. He just stood there, staring at me.

For a long while we stared at eachother. Not a noise was heard. Not a word spoken, or a moment when we weren't looking at one another.

Suddenly we heard a creak. The smallest of creaks, but it came crashing and screaming at us as if the house were collapsing. Spot broke our stare down and furrowed his brow. "Whose that?" He whispered so low I could barely hear him.

"Maybe its one of the Queens boys." I muttered back, just as quiet.

He shook his head, "No..." He trailed off, and moved a little closer to the door.

And then Anthony came slowly up the stairs, a gun in his hand, pointed right at us. Where he got it, I guess I won't know, but for a second I felt fear.

I didn't want to die. I was to young, and I was just starting to feel. It wasn't fair.

"Wasn't expectin me, was ya Conlon?" Anthony asked, forcing us farther into the room. Spot placed himself strategically infront of me, but I managed to get beside him instead.

I furrowed my own brows at hearing this, "What's he talking about?" I whispered to the boy next to me.

He shook his head at me, and glared at my cousin, "Shuddup Brute. Youse ain't worth nothin' and youse never will."

Brute laughed, "Oh yeah? Well, Ise ain't the one ta lie to a lady...o' course she sure don't act like one, huh Conlon? Youse'd back me up on that, isn't dat right?"

Spot gave a low growl, "Leave her outta dis."

I was so confused, I could only watch and wait for what they were discussing to hit me.

"Oh, but she's already in dis. Da moment I saw her in my territory...well, that was youse's fault wasn't it? Something about youse and her fighting...like you two always seem to do...until...Oh, was that a kiss?"

Spot moved closer, "Whose tellin' youse all of dis?" If there was a chair he would have thrown it, I could tell. His muscles were as tense as a lions' before he jumped on his prey.

"Careful Conlon, I have the gun. And you wouldn't believe the small handful of Brooklyn boys who supply me with all my information." Anthony teased, and his voice didn't sound so gruff and newsie-ish.

I moved closer to Spot, trying to put together all that was being said. I couldn't understand it for the life of me.

"No!" Spot screamed, "No! They wouldn't! You'd of had ta beat 'em!"

Anthony gave a devilish grin, and I wanted to throw something at him now too. Spot had lost all thought. He had passed the calm cool anger and had gone on to the irrational part. He wasn't thinking anymore, but rather raging. I had never seen this side. Mostly in his rages, he'd go quiet, and thats how he scared.

And then it hit me. He was scared. Thats where this anger, this boiling over rage had come from.

Fear.

Spot Conlon was scared.

And that scared me even more...

A/N: Ok, it took me a WHILE to get this up. Sorry bout that. But ill be working Dubbly hard on getting the next one out faster. I got a job now, tho so Ill try my best. Please Review! I hope you enjoyed!!

Disclaimer: Meesa Emily. Meesa No Own. Meesa No get sued. Meesa not Jah Jah Binx. dk if I spelled that right...oh well, u understand. ;)


	18. Chapter 18

Numb

Summary: Some people are deaf, some people are blind, but I, I was numb. I could touch the softest silk and not feel a thing. A spider could crawl down my arm, and I would never know. Physically I couldn't feel, and that effected me emotionally...until I met Him.

Anthony gave a hideous smile, "Well, my pretty little cousin, Do I have a tale for you?!?" His grin grew more wicked, "Its about a boy, who kissed a girl and decided to play a game...How far will said girl go for him?"

Spot growled, "SHUT UP!" He screamed. So suddenly, I stumbled back a bit.

Ticking his tongue, Anthony moved closer, pushing us back into the wall. "Dear Eden. What has happened? Why, you were simply on your way, and then...GASP! Spot is in trouble! Who should save him? Why, beautiful, strong Eden...In love with the Brooklyn King."

And then the front door slammed open and someone came rushing up the stair, "I told you!" Jack yelled, but came to a dead halt.

The story Anthony told and the words that fell from Jack's mouth hit me, staggering me, like a giant wave crashing down. It was all a ploy. A scheme to see if I cared enough to save him! How...how could someone be so cruel as to test that? To play with others feelings?

I grabbed Spot, spun him around, and slapped him. I could feel the sting on my hand, and the tears that coursed down my cheeks, "Bastard!" I whispered fiercely, "Ho-how could you?!?!"

Turning, I flew at Jack. He enveloped me in his arms, but I pulled away, and slapped him as well. This time I didn't feel the sting, or the tears. "You're as bad as Spot."

I turned to Anthony. "You are not so much as a hairs worth better then them too. I want no part with any of you three." I launched myself at Anthony, prepared to attack and stupidly forgetting the gun.

The sound of the bullet being released from the gun was the last thing I heard before I was consumed by darkness. Lucky I couldn't feel, was the last thought. The last voice was Spot, a long ago memory...'Cause I didn't wantcha ta walk out dere and get hurt...' So He didn't want me to get hurt?..well, to late for that...

Whispers brought me away from the darkness that had enveloped me like a cacoon. It was the best sleep I had ever had.

"...haven't told us everything, Jack."

"...you guys doing in Queens?"

"You still haven't...Cora is this way?"

I couldn't understand why the voices went in and out that way. It confused me, and scared me. Was my hearing going? The bullet sound had been very loud...

"Get outta here!" A voice whispered harshly, and many footsteps drew away. And then it was quiet.

I let out a peaceful sigh, and the owner of the harsh whisper shifted to my right. I felt them take my hand in their own. I FELT!!!! The excitement rose in my heart, fluttering around wildly...and then I remembered. Spot was the only one who could make me feel...that must be him.

But with the feeling of his hand in mine came the sharp pain in my shoulder. I cried out, the pain so terribly unbearable. He quickly let go, and the pain receeded. I was Numb again.

"I'm so sorry, Cor." His voice was so sweet and gentle. I could feel his prescence close to me, and I wanted to feel him, but I couldn't stand the thought of that pain.

"Please wake up soon...I need ya." He admitted, and my heart swelled again. Could I still love him after what he did? I had been so worried and he hadn't been in any danger...until Anthony came. He was in danger then. I wondered what happened after I blacked?

"Youse...youse probably don't wanna evah see me again, but...maybe...a second chance?" Spot Conlon, The Brooklyn King, was pleading – no begging – me to give him a second chance. How can you hate someone and Love him at the same time? I wish I had my mother, so I could ask her these things...how long should I feign sleep?

"O' course youse not gonna answah. Stupid me." Had he just admitted he was stupid? "Well, if youse hear me somewhere in that darkness...know that I'd really like dat second chance. Eva since Ise first met ya, Eden, youse was some kinda...I dont know. You didn't fit wit da rest of da goils I known. I wanna get to know ya better...maybe when I come back..."

Come back? Where was he going? How could he do that terrible scheme and then leave me dieing in a bed?

"Dey say...dey say dat Pittsburgh's very gloomy. And many get's sick from all da pollution. But, there are good jobs dere. Jobs that can help a man support a family...I'd like to have a family one day...Maybe with a doll who...who's numb?" It was a question, but the last part jerked my eyes open.

"How'd you know?" I asked, and then realized I blew it.

"Youse was listenin' de entire time?" Spot said, surprised as well, then, "Eden! Youse ok?!?!" He asked, all anger for me eavesdropping gone.

He went to give me a hug, but I put my hands up, "No! Don't touch me!"

Crestfallen, he sat back down in his chair. I'd never seen him without his cool guy mask, and now I could practically spell every emotion...which was saying something because it had been a while since he taught me the alphabet and a few words.

"I'm sorry." I apologized, "It's just...everytime you touch me, I can feel and it hurts." I gave him a crooked grin, and he gave a small smile.

"youse don't need ta apologize...all this is my fault. My idea...actually Jack's. He didn't want ya ta leave."

I growled, "Jack's idea?"

Spot stood up in alarm, "Yeah but don't be mad!"

Sighing, I turned to look out the dirt streaked windows, "I'm not mad...I guess I just wasn't destined to leave this god damn city."

I heard him sit back down...and somehow I felt upset. Where was the tough Brooklyn King? Where was the guy that ruffled my nerves, and caused me to scream at how arrogant and pig-like he was? This was as upsetting as the night on the docks.

"Spot?" I asked.

"Mmm hmm?" I turned to see him staring at me, head cocked to the side...contemplating I guess.

I cocked my own head, "Are you two-faced?"

He looked surprised for a moment, then laughed. I smiled, I had made him laugh! Shaking his head, chuckling slightly he replied, "Dunno. It's like...there's the tough guy side. The Brooklyn King, the street rat that grew up in the alleys, living off garbage...and then, theres the little Irish boy, sitting on his mothers' lap while she read fairytales to him. Thinking up his own fairytale." He gave a chagrined smile, "Yeah, I always wanted a happily ever after. But," His face turned cold, "If youse tell anyone Eden Sullivan, youse will regret it!"

I smiled, "Cross my heart, and hope to die."

"I hope you don't die." He said seriously.

"Not anytime soon...Newsies Honor." I smiled at him, then I grew serious, "How long have you known that I'm numb?"

Spot pondered the question, "For...a little over two years."

He noticed my surprised look, and smile, "Me an' Jack go way back, dollface. I told him all my secrets, an' he told me all a his. I noticed ya on the dock, and saw the resembalance, and then we just kept runnin' inta each othah."

"Wow." I said, "So you knew all along?"

"Yup."

We sat in silence until I finally asked, "Youse still goin' ta Pittsburgh?" using my best Newsie imitation.

"That's da plan." He said, nodding his head.

"Mind if I tag along?" I looked away so he wouldn't see the hope in my eyes, and the anger at myself for loving him so much to forgive him so easily.

"Thought you'd nevah ask." He replied.

I turned toward him, and he caught my lips in a kiss. It was soft at first, his hand trailed my cheek, and then cupped my neck and pulled me in for a longer kiss. When we broke apart, I said breathlessly, "I didn't feel my injury...but I did like the feel of that kiss."

He laughed, and brought me close for another. And another.

A/N: I think this is a bit short...and it wasn't really 'action-packed'...but I hope you all liked. Sorry for taking so long, My excuses won't do. I knew what had to be written, but It wouldn't come out, and I've been going through somethings. This isn't the end...I dont think. Not sure yet. I'll prolly have an Epilogue. Thank you to my many reviewers, you guys deserve more! Rock on, and please yell at me in a review ((wink wink)). Toodles and Happy MOOOOO Year!

Disclaimer: Me not own. Dont sue or the most you will end up with is a tooth brush and a movie stub from We are Marshall. lol!


	19. Epilogue

Numb

Summary: Some people are deaf, some people are blind, but I, I was numb. I could touch the softest silk and not feel a thing. A spider could crawl down my arm, and I would never know. Physically I couldn't feel, and that effected me emotionally...until I met Him.

Anesthetized, apathetic, asleep, benumbed, brutal, callous, cantankerous, churlish, cold, cold fish, cold-blooded, cold-hearted, cool cat, crotchety, cruel, deadened, exacting, feelingless, hard, hardened, heartless, icy, inanimate, inhuman, insensate, insensible, insensitive, iron-hearted, merciless, obdurate, pitiless, ruthless, sensationless, senseless, severe, stony, surly, thick-skinned, tough, unamiable, uncaring, uncompassionate, uncordial, unemotional, unkind, unsympathetic.

All the words above were synonyms to one word, unfeeling. Numb. That is exactly what type of person I am.

Or actually, the type of person I _used _to be.

Its been a long time since I couldn't feel, and I owe it all to a certain newsie boy that I couldn't Help falling in love with.

When Our eyes met across the docks, I'd never even dream that one day we'd love eachother, much less get married and have twins.

But, it happened, thankfully. And thankfully, none of my children were passed on the numb feeling. I could only thank God for that.

So, all in all, everything turned out good. I'm not saying Happily Ever After...because that's reserved mostly for fairytales. And I'm not saying The End, because it's not. The world is still revolving and my children or growing. It may be the end of my story, but not of life.

So i'll end with these words.

Live and Believe.

A/n: Kinda corny but i needed a closure to this story, and I think this is pretty good. So thank you all for sticking by me, even tho i'm slow at updating...well, Thank you still. I'm really gonna miss this story and all you guys.


End file.
